Brian Quotes (17 - 24 out of 104)

Not since the likes of Mr. Ed has there been a more loveable talking animal than Brian. Brian is your typical talking dog in that he's man's best friend, but he's also always seen with a martini, and is always stuck on dates with stupid human women.

Lois: So how was your day?
Brian: My day? Un-freakin' believable. First we nailed this bastard who had the gall to hide his stuff in his daughter's doll--HER DOLL for God's sake! Where's the line anymore? Well, I got news for ya, it's not even on the radar screen! The days of decency and virtue are gone, honey, BAM, freakin' evaporated like a dingy stinkin' mudpuddle. One day you see your reflection in it and the next day it's a, it's a damn oil spot on your cracked driveway, staring back at you, mocking you, knowing the perverted truths that rot in the pit of your soul. That's how my freakin' day was!
[pause]
Peter Griffin: You know what I haven't had in a while? Big League Chew.
Quote Rating: 9.2 outta 10 (Over 190 votes) - Vote Now!

Judge: I'm sentencing you to 24 months in prison.
Lois: Oh no!
Brian: Oh no!
Chris: Oh no!
Meg: Oh no!
Kool Aid Guy: OOOOOOOH YA!
Quote Rating: 9.1 outta 10 (Over 814 votes) - Vote Now!

Cleveland: Quagmire slept with Loretta?
Lois: Oh my God, Cleveland! I am so sorry! I can only imagine what your going through right now.
Cleveland: Its okay.
Brian: It's ok? It's okay to be betrayed by your wife and best friend?
Cleveland: Better that it's Quagmire than someone who she could get a disease from.
Lois: Cleveland, don't you see this is why your wife left you. You don't have enough passion. Sometimes a woman wants to see a man be a man. You gotta push back a little. (Lois starts shaking.) You gotta get a little rough. OH GOD!!!!!! (Pulls down pants and lois bends over.) Peter HIT ME!
Brian: YEEAHH! (Slaps Lois' butt.)
(Awkward silence.)
Brian: So...yeah...
Quote Rating: 9.1 outta 10 (Over 97 votes) - Vote Now!

Chris: I don't care what she says, I'm never going back!
Brian: Look you can't run away from your problems Chris. That's what I tried to do. I joined the Peace Corps and a day later I was two continents away.
Chris: Really?
Brian: Yep, but 6,000 miles and all the dope I could smoke still couldn't separate me from my problems. And this was good dope. I mean it was growing everywhere. Oh my God! This one time we got so baked we ended up eating all the food at the food the World Health Organization had airlifted in. Oh man those villagers were so pissed! They tried to chase us, but lemme just say thank God for polio.
Quote Rating: 9.1 outta 10 (Over 478 votes) - Vote Now!

Brian: I just spent all morning watching a VH1 special on Gwen Stefani. I don't know what a Hollaback girl is. All I know is that I want her dead.
Quote Rating: 9.1 outta 10 (Over 229 votes) - Vote Now!

Stewie: I'm the dog. I'm well read and have a diverse stock portfolio. But I'm not above eating grass clippings and regurgitating them on the rug.
Brian: I'm a pompous little antichrist who will abandon my plans for world domination when I grow up and wind up settling with a rough trick named Jim.
Quote Rating: 9.1 outta 10 (Over 350 votes) - Vote Now!

(Peter and Brain are in jail)
Brian: Uh, how was your shower?
Peter: Oh, I tell ya Brian, all the rumors about dropping the soap are true.
Brian: Really?
Peter: Oh yeah, you can't hold onto that thing to save your life. Oh, it was slipping all
over the place. Guys were laughing.
Quote Rating: 9.0 outta 10 (Over 535 votes) - Vote Now!

Stewie: You know it's awfully dangerous for me to be walking around the mall at my height. I say, let me get on your back.
Brian: Oh for God sake.
Stewie: Strong with the force young Skywalker is.
Brian: God, I don't believe this.
Stewie: That is why you fail.
Quote Rating: 9.0 outta 10 (Over 191 votes) - Vote Now!