Brian Quotes (57 - 64 out of 104)

Not since the likes of Mr. Ed has there been a more loveable talking animal than Brian. Brian is your typical talking dog in that he's man's best friend, but he's also always seen with a martini, and is always stuck on dates with stupid human women.

Peter: I'M RETARDED!
Brian: I don't want to say "I told you so", but... YEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHH! IN YOUR ****ING FACE! IN YOUR F***ING FACE YOU F***WAD!!! I am so sorry...
Quote Rating: 8.5 outta 10 (Over 281 votes) - Vote Now!

Peter: I'm getting an Audi!
Brian: Peter, there's a "T." That says "audit."
Peter: No, Brian, it's a foreign car, the "T" is silent. Sweet, I'm getting an Audi!
Quote Rating: 8.4 outta 10 (Over 120 votes) - Vote Now!

Brian: Oh, please, Peter, your excuses are lamer than FDR's legs.
Meg & Peter: *gasp*
Brian: Too soon?
Quote Rating: 8.4 outta 10 (Over 375 votes) - Vote Now!

Brian returns home with the bachelorette.
Peter: Brian! Welcome home you son-of-a-bitch! So did you lose? Oh, you gotta tell me all about it. Hey, how was bachelorette? Was she a dumb bimbo like you said? But with a big rack?! Ha-ha-ha! C'mon in, you gotta tell me everything! I bet your stories make me laugh so hard I shoot milk outta my nose!
Brian (uncomfortable): Uh, Peter, this is Brooke, the bachelorette. She's, uh, having dinner with us. I went over with this with you a few minutes ago.
Peter: A-ha-ha-ha-ha!! (shoots milk out of his nose onto Brian)
Quote Rating: 8.4 outta 10 (Over 118 votes) - Vote Now!

Peter: If I were half the parent Brian is I would know that Chris's favorite ice cream is...
Brian: Chocolate chip.
Peter: And I'd know that Stewie's favorite bedtime story is...
Brian: Good Night Moon.
Peter: And I'd know that Meg's real father is...
Brian: Stan Thomson.
Quote Rating: 8.4 outta 10 (Over 173 votes) - Vote Now!

Brian: Oh my god! They're eating Asian reporter Tricia Takanawa!
Peter: That's crazy...they'll just be hungry again in an hour.
Quote Rating: 8.4 outta 10 (Over 274 votes) - Vote Now!

Peter: You know that whole Vietnam thing? Never happened.
Brian: Oh yeah, but don't mention it around the Veterans Hospital. Those guys are really committed to the lie.
Quote Rating: 8.4 outta 10 (Over 345 votes) - Vote Now!

(Brian walks in with injuries from being beat up by Stewie)
Tom Brady: What happened to you?
(Stewie gets Brian's attention)
Brian: I...fell down the stairs.
Stewie: Hmm, you should be more careful.
Quote Rating: 8.3 outta 10 (Over 68 votes) - Vote Now!