Lois Griffin Quotes (73 - 80 out of 117)

Lois is hot even though she has a sandwich for a nose. She comes from a rich family and married Peter for his free spirit and not his studly good looks as often rumored. Lois can whoop ass when needed and loves her family. Way cooler than Marge.

Lois: Peter, isn't she beautiful?
Peter: Yeah, but I think she's with that guy. They've been holding hands all night.
Lois: Peter, I meant Meg.
Peter: Oh, yeah, she's hot.
Quote Rating: 8.1 outta 10 (Over 377 votes) - Vote Now!

Lois: I am not a crazy broad!
Peter: Oh, no, no, Lois, he didn't mean you're crazy like Elizabeth Taylor. He meant you're crazy, like that glue. You stick to things, y'know, like an adhesive. That's all he meant.
Quote Rating: 8.1 outta 10 (Over 193 votes) - Vote Now!

(The Griffins at a grocery store)
Lois: Chris, would you run and get some milk? And be sure to get it from the back.
(Chris is reaching for some milk and a hand pops out. It grabs his hand and brings him into the A-Ha music video "Take On Me". Chris falls out from the music video onto the grocery store floor.)
Lois: Chris, where have you been?
Chris: I don't know!
Quote Rating: 8.0 outta 10 (Over 191 votes) - Vote Now!

(Lois calls the house and Chris picks up phone)
Chris: Stephenson residence.
Lois: Chris, we've gone through this before. It's pronounced Griffin.
Quote Rating: 8.0 outta 10 (Over 106 votes) - Vote Now!

Lois: Are you gonna miss me?
Peter: Only until I go to the newsstand and buy a Hustler.
Quote Rating: 8.0 outta 10 (Over 326 votes) - Vote Now!

Lois: I've seen that crappy Julia Roberts movie forty-seven times. Have you seen the lips on that woman? Like a baboon's ass on her face.
Quote Rating: 8.0 outta 10 (Over 222 votes) - Vote Now!

Stewie: Well, Well mother we meet again.
Lois: Stewie I thought I tucked you in an hour ago.
Stewie: Not tightly enough it would seem, and now you contemptible harpy, I shall end your oppressive reign of matriarchal tyranny!
Quote Rating: 8.0 outta 10 (Over 148 votes) - Vote Now!

Stewie: Excellent, the mind control device is nearing completion!
Lois: Stewie, no toys at the table. (Takes mind control device.)
Stewie: Damn you vile woman! You've impeded my work since the day I escaped from your wretched womb.
Lois: Don't pout now sweetie, when you were born the doctor told us you were the happiest newborn he'd ever delivered.
Stewie: But of course. That was my victory day! The fruition of my deeply laid plans to escape from that cursed ovarion bastille! Return the device woman!
Lois: No toys, Stewie.
Stewie: Very well then. But mark my words, when you least expect it, your uppance shall come.
Quote Rating: 8.0 outta 10 (Over 61 votes) - Vote Now!