Lois Griffin Quotes (81 - 88 out of 117)

Lois is hot even though she has a sandwich for a nose. She comes from a rich family and married Peter for his free spirit and not his studly good looks as often rumored. Lois can whoop ass when needed and loves her family. Way cooler than Marge.

Lois: Nurse this woman is in labor!
Mayor Adam West: Excuse me, I was here first... My leg is asleep!!
Quote Rating: 7.9 outta 10 (Over 329 votes) - Vote Now!

Lois: Hi honey. How was your physical?
Peter: Good. Good. Good...yeah, yeah. Too good, in matter of fact. You know what the doctor said? Doctor said I was too healthy. You know? In too good of shape. Don't even know how. Too good of shape.
Lois: You didn't go to your physical, did you?
Peter: No. Ahm, I did not.
Quote Rating: 7.8 outta 10 (Over 65 votes) - Vote Now!

Lois: You gave up a boat for free tickets to a crappy comedy club!
Peter: Come one, Lois, you're acting like this is the first time I ever did something stupid.
Quote Rating: 7.8 outta 10 (Over 170 votes) - Vote Now!

Stewie: Excellent, the mind control device is nearing completion!
Lois: Stewie, no toys at the table. (Takes mind control device.)
Stewie: Damn you vile woman! You've impeded my work since the day I escaped from your wretched womb.
Lois: Don't pout now sweetie, when you were born the doctor told us you were the happiest newborn he'd ever delivered.
Stewie: But of course. That was my victory day! The fruition of my deeply laid plans to escape from that cursed ovarion bastille! Return the device woman!
Lois: No toys, Stewie.
Stewie: Very well then. But mark my words, when you least expect it, your uppance shall come.
Quote Rating: 7.8 outta 10 (Over 41 votes) - Vote Now!

Meg: He's going back to Cecilia? I can't believe I'm actually jealous!
Lois: I can't I actually touched him!
Peter: I still can't believe it's not butter! Hahahahaha. Next week I run for the mayor of Quahog. Do I have what it takes? We'll find out, don't miss it.
Quote Rating: 7.8 outta 10 (Over 148 votes) - Vote Now!

Peter: Lois, less talkie more fetchie.
Lois: I'm just gonna assume that's Chinese for 'I love you.'
Quote Rating: 7.8 outta 10 (Over 207 votes) - Vote Now!

Lois: Here comes the airplane, Stewie.
(Stewie swats spoon)
Stewie: The pilot of that plpane must have been JFK Jr.
Quote Rating: 7.8 outta 10 (Over 312 votes) - Vote Now!

Lois: For me? Please?
Peter: All right, all right, but you owe me. Later, under the mistletoe, open mouth, no matter how drunk I am.
Quote Rating: 7.8 outta 10 (Over 247 votes) - Vote Now!