Lois Griffin Quotes (105 - 112 out of 117)
Lois is hot even though she has a sandwich for a nose. She comes from a rich family and married Peter for his free spirit and not his studly good looks as often rumored. Lois can whoop ass when needed and loves her family. Way cooler than Marge.
Peter: Our sex is so dull for you that you gotta fantasize about George Clooney?
Lois: I'm sorry honey, I guess that things have become a little...stale for me.
Peter: Well, I-I don't know what to do. I mean, I don't really know that much about any kinky stuff. I mean, I-I could hook this car battery up to my nipples. (Hooks car battery to both his nipples.)
Peter: Ahh, Ahh, Ahh, Oh God, Ow Ow Ow Ow Ow there's 240-Ow Ow Ow Ow Ow!
Quote Rating:
7.2 outta 10 (Over 164 votes)
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Lois: My days in college were so exciting. This one time, the national guard came and shot some of my friends.
Quote Rating:
7.2 outta 10 (Over 334 votes)
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Lois: Kids, we just have to learn to accept this. Like one of those stories on Dateline where a family member suffers a horrible accident and becomes a burden on everybody. Sure, they pretend to be happy, but they're dead inside, they're dead. And that'll be our lives.
Quote Rating:
7.2 outta 10 (Over 462 votes)
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Lois: To hell with the cameras! How could we ever let them replace our little girl? Oh, I miss her, Peter.
Peter: Me, too. She's like that dorky Baldwin brother who isn't as good-looking or successful and never answers my letters, but he's still a Baldwin, damn it!
Quote Rating:
7.1 outta 10 (Over 294 votes)
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Lois: It's like I always tell the kids, a quitter never wins and don't trust whitie.
Quote Rating:
7.1 outta 10 (Over 226 votes)
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Stewie (making fun of the contents of a candy jar at his grandparents' house): Oh, oh...look at this...a spare key for a Volkswagen Scirocco...they don't even make those any more! They don't even make that car anymore!! Whose keys are these?
Later...
Lois: Well it sure was nice of Mayor West to drop the kidnapping charges.
Brian: It's amazing. All he asked for in return was the key to a Volkswagen Scirocco.
Stewie: You're welcome!
Quote Rating:
7.0 outta 10 (Over 101 votes)
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Peter: Lois, this is my new friend Max Weinstein! He's Jewish!
Lois: Ooooooooh, how exotic!
Quote Rating:
6.8 outta 10 (Over 465 votes)
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Mel Gibson: I'm sorry, Mrs. Griffin. This isn't personal, but I need to do what I need to do to get that tape.
Lois (scared): Oh, Mel, what are you gonna do to me? (Then, erotically, hopefully)Oh, Mel, what are you gonna do to me...?
Quote Rating:
6.6 outta 10 (Over 130 votes)
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