Lois Griffin Quotes (25 - 32 out of 117)
Lois is hot even though she has a sandwich for a nose. She comes from a rich family and married Peter for his free spirit and not his studly good looks as often rumored. Lois can whoop ass when needed and loves her family. Way cooler than Marge.
Doctor: Mr. Griffin, you're fine.
Peter: Oh now you're coming on to me?
Lois: Peter, he's not coming on to you, he's telling you you're healthy!
Doctor: Can't it be both?
Quote Rating:
9.2 outta 10 (Over 220 votes)
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Lois: You see, our son Chris, well...
Peter: Wait, Lois, we have to handle this delicately. Our son....wants....to plow you.
Mrs. Lockheart: Oh, I thought it was something like that.
Quote Rating:
9.1 outta 10 (Over 256 votes)
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Judge: I'm sentencing you to 24 months in prison.
Lois: Oh no!
Brian: Oh no!
Chris: Oh no!
Meg: Oh no!
Kool Aid Guy: OOOOOOOH YA!
Quote Rating:
9.1 outta 10 (Over 814 votes)
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Cleveland: Quagmire slept with Loretta?
Lois: Oh my God, Cleveland! I am so sorry! I can only imagine what your going through right now.
Cleveland: Its okay.
Brian: It's ok? It's okay to be betrayed by your wife and best friend?
Cleveland: Better that it's Quagmire than someone who she could get a disease from.
Lois: Cleveland, don't you see this is why your wife left you. You don't have enough passion. Sometimes a woman wants to see a man be a man. You gotta push back a little. (Lois starts shaking.) You gotta get a little rough. OH GOD!!!!!! (Pulls down pants and lois bends over.) Peter HIT ME!
Brian: YEEAHH! (Slaps Lois' butt.)
(Awkward silence.)
Brian: So...yeah...
Quote Rating:
9.1 outta 10 (Over 97 votes)
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Lois: Peter, why would they make you president?
Peter: Maybe it's because I can recite all 50 states in a quarter of a second - RARF!
Lois: Peter, that was just a loud yelping noise.
Quote Rating:
9.0 outta 10 (Over 1308 votes)
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Peter-YO LOIS!
Lois-WHAT?
Peter- I'm packing for Kiss-stock and I can't find my favorite underwear.
Lois-You mean the pair with the rip in the right butt check from when you stepped on them pulling them up in that airplane bathroom from when you had the trotts?
Peter-No, no the pair with the whole in the left butt check from when I held it in for two hours cuz it was an extra long Palm Sunday church sermon and I thought that blowing gas would offend jesus so I let it go in the vestabule after mass and it sounded like Louie Armstrong.
Lois-Oh! Bottom drawer.
Quote Rating:
9.0 outta 10 (Over 215 votes)
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Lois: Okay here we go, "What color is a firetruck?"
Peter: Aww, oh God I always get these. Umm..okay..uhh..all right..firetruck..firetruck firetruck firetruck firetruck. What color are those red firetrucks? Uhh..Oh god I can picture them now...all red and everything.
Quote Rating:
8.9 outta 10 (Over 278 votes)
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Man: Wow, Lois Griffin, Hey, I love your act! Nice mellons.
Peter: Now listen pal!
Lois: Peter, I'm holding mellons.
Peter: Oh
Man: And her hooters aint bad either.
Peter: Now hold on a second.
Lois: Peter! I'm holding hooters!
Peter: Oh, sorry.
Man: No problem .
(pause)
Man: Your wife's hot.
Peter: Alright that's it!
Quote Rating:
8.9 outta 10 (Over 461 votes)
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