Peter Griffin Quotes (73 - 80 out of 362)
Peter is the head of the Griffin family household. He is one of the most typical males imaginable. He's fat, loves Pawtucket Beer, and is always there for some good physical comedy. Peter used to work at a toy factory and now we're just not sure what he does...
(The family is coming back from the basketball game)
Peter: Hey nice job Chris! You wiped the floor with that towel!
Chris: Yeah did you see me when that hottie was all up im ma kool aid!? Yeah I was about to break off a lil' somthin somthin but then my crew gave me the 411 on that skank and shes all about the bling-bling!
(Peter slams on the breaks)
Peter: Meg start reading at Pslam 41 and don't stop! The power of Christ compels you! The power of Christ compels you! (While Peter is squirting holy water in Chris's eyes)
Lois: Peter what on earth are you doing?!
Peter: The boy is speaking in tounges Lois!
The power of Christ compels you! The power of Christ compels you!
Lois: Peter stop it! He's not possesed!
Meg: Yeah he's just talking street. A lot of kids do it.
Peter: Oh. Well that's weird.
Quote Rating:
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(Peter is trying to potty train Stewie)
Peter: C'mon Stewie, don't you want to pee in the toilet like a big boy?
Stewie: Well, perhaps I could give it the old college try. Would you put your hands there on the toilet seat, it'll help me relax.
Peter: OK. (Slams toilet seat down on Peter's fingers.) AAAHHHHHH!!!!
Stewie: Listen you, I'll use these facilities when I'm DAMN WELL READY!!!! Until then you shall continue to sanitize my crevice and be DAMN GRATFEUL FOR THE OPPORTUNITY!!! Starting right . . .hmmp. . . hmmmp. . . . .hmmmmmp well then, not now, BUT SOON! (Walks off.)
Quote Rating:
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Peter: [writing letter] Dear MacGuyver, Enclosed is a rubber band, a paper clip, and a drinking straw. Please save my dog.
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Jayna: "...form of--Hawk! Come on, Peter!"
Peter: "Okay, I'm coming. Form of--Jayna's tampon [goes in purse]. And now we play the waiting game."
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Peter: Hey, what are you doing here?
Superman: I killed a hooker. She made a crack about me being faster than a speeding bullet so I ripped her in half like a phonebook.
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(Peter and Brain are in jail)
Brian: Uh, how was your shower?
Peter: Oh, I tell ya Brian, all the rumors about dropping the soap are true.
Brian: Really?
Peter: Oh yeah, you can't hold onto that thing to save your life. Oh, it was slipping all
over the place. Guys were laughing.
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Peter: (at the Drunken Clam)...yah and then Chris starts in with all this Yo! Yo! Yo! stuff and I don't know what the hell he's talking about. So i started beating him with a hose and then my arm got tired...so I came here.
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Peter: Aww things were going so good for me and Stewie, but now he hates me again. Brian what should I do to win him back?
Brian: That depends. Do you want my advice or are you just asking random questions again?
Peter: What's a hypotenuse?
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