Peter Griffin Quotes (113 - 120 out of 362)
Peter is the head of the Griffin family household. He is one of the most typical males imaginable. He's fat, loves Pawtucket Beer, and is always there for some good physical comedy. Peter used to work at a toy factory and now we're just not sure what he does...
(Peter looks around and sees the KKK following him and Cleveland.)
Peter: Holy crap! Do you you see what I see?
Cleveland: I'm afraid so!
Peter: We're being chased by ghosts!
Quote Rating:
8.9 outta 10 (Over 173 votes)
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Peter: You gotta help me Brian. Teach me how to be a gentleman.
Brian: Well, Peter, it's not really that hard. Let's start with polite conversation. For example, 'It's a pleasure to see you again. Lovely weather we're having.' Now you try.
Peter: 'It's a pleasure to see you again. After Hogan's Heroes, Bob Crane got his skull crushed in by a friend who videotaped him having rough sex.' How's that?
Brian: Wow. Perfect. My work is done. But just for the heck of it, let's try it again.
Quote Rating:
8.9 outta 10 (Over 156 votes)
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Peter (to Lois): Lois, The Drunken Clam has been taken over by a bunch of limey tea suckin British bastards.
Nigel Pinchly (Brit): I guess I'm the limely bastard who purchased your bar, bit of an awkward moment really.
Peter: Awkward moment? I'll give you an awkward moment, one time during sex I called Lois Frank! Your move Sherlock.
Quote Rating:
8.9 outta 10 (Over 78 votes)
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Joe: Maybe Peter took the trophy, he wanted it all along.
Peter: I couldn't have taken it, I was too busy breakin' into Joe's garage stealin' his ladder so I could steal the trophy tonight!
Lois: Peter!
Peter: What? It's a ladder, he can't use it. It's like takin' a watch off a dead guy.
Quote Rating:
8.8 outta 10 (Over 139 votes)
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Peter: Sorry Meg. Daddy loves ya, but Daddy also loves Star Trek, and in all fairness, Star Trek was here first.
Quote Rating:
8.8 outta 10 (Over 458 votes)
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Head Scout: You've got three days to earn a badge.
Peter: Three days! That's tomorrow! We gotta get going.
Quote Rating:
8.8 outta 10 (Over 266 votes)
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Mr.Weed: Peter! Are you sleeping on the job?
Peter: Uh uh...no! There's uh..a..bug in my eye and I'm trying to suffocate him.
Quote Rating:
8.8 outta 10 (Over 135 votes)
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Peter: HOLY CRAP! I'm communticating with nature! Uh, tree, if one of you falls and no one is around to hear you, do you make a noise?
Tree: Oh yeah, Scott fell over last week and hasn't shut up about it since.
Scott the Tree: Oh yeah, go ahead and bitch, but you don't see anyone trying to HELP ME!
Quote Rating:
8.8 outta 10 (Over 500 votes)
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