Peter Griffin Quotes (121 - 128 out of 362)
Peter is the head of the Griffin family household. He is one of the most typical males imaginable. He's fat, loves Pawtucket Beer, and is always there for some good physical comedy. Peter used to work at a toy factory and now we're just not sure what he does...
Peter: As we all know, Christmas is that mystical time of year when the ghost of Jesus rises from the grave to feast on the flesh of the living! So we all sing Christmas Carols to lull him back to sleep.
Bob: Outrageous, How dare he say such blasphemy. I've got to do something.
Man #1: Bob, there's nothing you can do.
Bob: Well, I guess I'll just have to develop a sense of humor.
Quote Rating:
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Peter: I'm gonna go microwave a bagel and have sex with it.
Quagmire: Butter's in the fridge!
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Peter: Fox has one of those new reality shows at eight, 'Fast animals, slow children.'
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Peter: Can't we tell them that your mother died?
Lois: Peter, I'm not gonna lie about something like that.
Peter: All right, all right, I'll kill your mother.
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8.8 outta 10 (Over 307 votes)
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Peter: Cleveland, sit down. I wanna sing a little song that, uh kept me goin' when I had troubles.
(Peter starts playing The B-52s- "Rock Lobster" on an acoustic guitar.)
Peter: We were at the beach.
Everyone had, matching towels!
Somebody went under a dock, and there they saw, a rock!
But it wasn't a rock, it was a Rock Lobster.
(bridge)
Rock Lobster
(in a falsetto)
ROCK LOBSTER!
Quote Rating:
8.8 outta 10 (Over 172 votes)
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Lois: A flight attendant? Wow, that does sound exciting. What made you change your mind?
Peter: Just my desire to see you happy.
Lois: Aww .... (hugs peter)
Peter: And to exploit your hard labour for free travel and fun.
Lois: What?
Peter: Shhh ... I didn't say anything. Go to sleep crazy lady.
Quote Rating:
8.8 outta 10 (Over 383 votes)
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[Peter has bought a sexy version of a relationship tape]
Lois: $49.95? Are you sure we can afford this?
Peter: Lois, our relationship can not be measured in nipples and dimes ... nickels and boobs ... money.
[runs off]
Quote Rating:
8.8 outta 10 (Over 487 votes)
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(Peter slowly raises up a comic book into his line of sight while he is driving.)
Peter (to himself): Hehehehehe.....Look at all those hamburgers. You can't eat all those hamburgers, you stupid fella (car veers off the road). Oh geeze! (Peter swerves the car back on the road and then slowly raises up the comic book again). Uh! He's gonna do it! Oh he is SO ridiculous--you hear me, you ridiculous man? (Car crashes into tree.)
Quote Rating:
8.8 outta 10 (Over 187 votes)
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