Peter Griffin Quotes (137 - 144 out of 362)
Peter is the head of the Griffin family household. He is one of the most typical males imaginable. He's fat, loves Pawtucket Beer, and is always there for some good physical comedy. Peter used to work at a toy factory and now we're just not sure what he does...
Brian: Uh..Peter according to this you're not a genius. In fact you're mentally retarded.
Peter: Oh yeah? Well would a mentally retarded guy have hired a bulldozer with a drunk driver to level half of his house in celebration of his fantastic test results?
Brian: Uhh maybe.
Peter: Oh.
Quote Rating:
8.7 outta 10 (Over 235 votes)
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Lois: Chris, we know what you did.
Chris: You mean that I lied about my age to get into an Indian casino?
Lois: No.
Chris: You mean about the time I had hard gas and pooed myself?
Peter: Close, but no.
Stewie: How is that close?
Quote Rating:
8.7 outta 10 (Over 147 votes)
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Peter: Hey, Lois, look! The two symbols of the Republican party: an elephant and a big fat white guy who's threatened by change.
Quote Rating:
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Miss Ironbox: The filing is done Mr. Griffin.
Peter: Thank you Miss Ironbox. You are a valued
member of our business team and I will give you a
raise tomorrow if you come to work without a shirt on.
Miss Ironbox: Mr. Griffin!
Peter: I'm sor...I'm sorry, that came out wrong.
Lemme' try again. Nice ass.
Quote Rating:
8.7 outta 10 (Over 172 votes)
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Brian: So, uh, where's your good buddy James Woods?
Peter: Eh, turns out he wasn't so good at catching stuff in his mouth. So where's your girlfriend?
Brian: Same problem.
Brian and Peter: Wooooaahh!! (They both laugh)
Quote Rating:
8.7 outta 10 (Over 314 votes)
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Joe: So, what can I do for you Peter?
Peter: Well Joe, I need to talk to you about something kind of personal.
Joe: Shoot.
Peter: Well, you know, I took this test and, uh, it sorta turns out that I'm technically mentally retarded. And, um, i just wanted to ask, ya know, how do you deal with it?
Joe: Deal with what?
Peter: You know, with being retarded.
Joe: Peter, I'm not retarded, I'm handicapped.
Peter: Oh, well now your just splitting hairs.
Quote Rating:
8.7 outta 10 (Over 233 votes)
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Lois: I'm upset because you never listen to me. This is Atlantic City all over again.
[Lois and Peter at Blackjack table]
Dealer: You've got 20!
Peter: Hit me.
Lois: Peter, don't.
Peter: Hit me.
Dealer: 21!
Peter: Hit me.
Lois: Peter.
Peter: Hit me.
Dealer: That's 30
Peter: Hit me.
Quote Rating:
8.7 outta 10 (Over 537 votes)
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Peter: Pictures are better than words because some words are big and hard to understand.
Quote Rating:
8.7 outta 10 (Over 142 votes)
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