Peter Griffin Quotes (177 - 184 out of 362)
Peter is the head of the Griffin family household. He is one of the most typical males imaginable. He's fat, loves Pawtucket Beer, and is always there for some good physical comedy. Peter used to work at a toy factory and now we're just not sure what he does...
Lifeguard: Sir you can't park your van on the diving board.
Peter: That's not a van, that's my son.
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Peter: By the way Lois, I got a piercing over there. I'm not going to tell you where but I will give you a hint--it wasn't on my nose or my ear and it was one of my balls.
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Peter: Lois may be worth a million bucks to you, but to me she's worthless.
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Peter: Lois, When I'm through with them, our kids will be so smart, they'll be able to program their own VCRs without spilling piping hot gravy all over myself.
Quote Rating:
8.5 outta 10 (Over 373 votes)
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Brian: Peter, this is the final plague.
Peter: Good cause this is starting to get boring.
Brian: Peter, the final plague is the death of the first born son.
Peter: Oh no Stewie!
Brian: First born...
Peter: Meg!
Brian: Your daughter...
Peter: Chris!
Quote Rating:
8.5 outta 10 (Over 163 votes)
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Chris: Dad, can you help me with my math homework?
Peter: Math. Math my dear boy is nothing more than the lesbian sister of biology.
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Peter: Sometimes our son Chris can be a boob, I mean a melon, I mean a sopping wet pair of breasts covered only by a thin red shirt.
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8.5 outta 10 (Over 113 votes)
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Peter: I'M RETARDED!
Brian: I don't want to say "I told you so", but... YEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHH! IN YOUR ****ING FACE! IN YOUR F***ING FACE YOU F***WAD!!! I am so sorry...
Quote Rating:
8.5 outta 10 (Over 281 votes)
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