Peter Griffin Quotes (209 - 216 out of 362)
Peter is the head of the Griffin family household. He is one of the most typical males imaginable. He's fat, loves Pawtucket Beer, and is always there for some good physical comedy. Peter used to work at a toy factory and now we're just not sure what he does...
Peter: My dad worked at that factory for sixty years. That's almost eighty years.
Quote Rating:
8.4 outta 10 (Over 352 votes)
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Peter: Hey how did you get that?
Death: It was mailed to me by your HMO.
Peter: Woah, just because my doctor was hitting on me doesn't mean you have to call him names.
Quote Rating:
8.4 outta 10 (Over 156 votes)
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Peter: Lois, I cant find my favorite pair of underwear.
Lois: Which one? The one where you ripped hole in it from when you got stuck in that airplane bathroom from when you got the trots?
Peter: No, I'm looking for the pair from when I had to hold it in because it was that extra long Palm Sunday service and I thought blowing gas would offend God so I let it rip in the vestibule after service.
Lois: Top drawer.
Quote Rating:
8.4 outta 10 (Over 407 votes)
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Lawyer: Peter, Sarah has decided to press sexual harrasssment charges against you.
Peter: Sarah...Is that the one we video taped taking a dump?
Quote Rating:
8.4 outta 10 (Over 221 votes)
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Peter: You know that whole Vietnam thing? Never happened.
Brian: Oh yeah, but don't mention it around the Veterans Hospital. Those guys are really committed to the lie.
Quote Rating:
8.4 outta 10 (Over 345 votes)
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Peter: Beer that never goes flat. Do you know what that means, Brian? This beer will still be carbonated long after you die of old age and we buy another dog to help the kids ... y'know, forget about you.
Quote Rating:
8.3 outta 10 (Over 276 votes)
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Chris: Can I go now? Stewie's gonna help me with my math homework.
Lois: Chris...he can't help you with your homework, he's just a baby!
Stewie: And I guess you're a Rhodes Scholar yourself. Where did you graduate from again, the University of DUH?!?!?
Max Weinstein:I'll help you with your homework son.
Peter: My God!!! Is there nothing you people can't do, except you know... manual labor???
Lois: What a horrible thing to say! They built the pyramids!
Quote Rating:
8.3 outta 10 (Over 121 votes)
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Meg: Dad, if I don't get my driver's license, I'll never have any boyfriends, I'll never get married and I'll have to adopt a kid like Rosie O'Donnell.
Peter: Meg ... are you implying that Rosie O'Donnell cant drive?
Quote Rating:
8.3 outta 10 (Over 380 votes)
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