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Peter Griffin Quotes (217 - 224 out of 362)

Peter is the head of the Griffin family household. He is one of the most typical males imaginable. He's fat, loves Pawtucket Beer, and is always there for some good physical comedy. Peter used to work at a toy factory and now we're just not sure what he does...

Grandpa Griffin: You're a good woman, Lois. Perhaps you won't burn in hell after all. Maybe you'll just go to purgatory with all the unbaptized babies.
Peter: There you go, Lois, you love kids.
Quote Rating: 8.3 outta 10 (Over 325 votes) - Vote Now!

Peter: I don't take coupons from giant chickens, not after last time.
Quote Rating: 8.3 outta 10 (Over 308 votes) - Vote Now!

Peter: Relax Lois, when I had a toothache my mom
used to give me whiskey.
(Flashback to young Peter Griffin)
Young Peter: My tooth hurts!!
(Peters mom throws a bottle of whiskey at him and
it hits the wall.)
Quote Rating: 8.3 outta 10 (Over 208 votes) - Vote Now!

Peter Griffin: We all know that no women anywhere wants to have sex with anyone and to titillate us with any thoughts otherwise is just bogus.
Lois Griffin: Ah, he is so right on. Women are such teases. That's why I went back to men.
Quote Rating: 8.3 outta 10 (Over 77 votes) - Vote Now!

(Guy walks up to Peter and kicks him in the nuts.)
Peter screams.
Lois: Oh, my god! What are you doing?
(Peter is still screaming.)
Lois: What's wrong with you?
Peter: What the hell, man?
Guy: Hurts, doesn't it?
Peter: What the hell do...? Yes! What the hell's your problem?
Guy (laughs): My friend, my friend...
Peter: Ow! Ow! What?!
Guy (pointing at camera): You've been kicked in the nuts!
Peter: No way!
Guy (laughs): You're gonna be on TV.
Peter (shaking guy's hand): Oh, sweet!
Lois: Oh wow!
Peter: Oh, my god!
Lois: We love that show!
Peter (waving at camera): Oh, that is awesome! Hey, hi.
Guy: You're on it!
Quote Rating: 8.3 outta 10 (Over 113 votes) - Vote Now!

Steve: Well, well, Officer Swanson. You and your friends are dead, you're all dead!
Peter: Oh, good, he thinks we're zombies. He'll leave us alone.
Quote Rating: 8.3 outta 10 (Over 381 votes) - Vote Now!

Lois: Peter, maybe you had better let me drive.
Peter: Oh come on Lois. A woman driving a car. Hahaha.
Quote Rating: 8.3 outta 10 (Over 125 votes) - Vote Now!

Peter: I got no idea how to be black ... y'know, except for not smiling when I get my picture taken.
Quote Rating: 8.3 outta 10 (Over 267 votes) - Vote Now!

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