Peter Griffin Quotes (225 - 232 out of 362)

Peter is the head of the Griffin family household. He is one of the most typical males imaginable. He's fat, loves Pawtucket Beer, and is always there for some good physical comedy. Peter used to work at a toy factory and now we're just not sure what he does...

Peter: Our children are our greatest treasure. They deserve a school board president who doesn't leave her feminine ointments in the fridge next to the mustard. That was the worst sandwich I ever ate! She flosses in bed. She snores like a wildebeast. She freed Willie Horton. She nailed Donna Rice.
Lois: Peter, that's enough!
Peter: Eats babies.
(crowd applauds)
Quote Rating: 8.3 outta 10 (Over 129 votes) - Vote Now!

Peter: Here's to our wives! They may not be as hot as the women you see on TV, or as entertaining, but, um ... y'know, I don't know where I'm going with this, but thanks anyway.
Quote Rating: 8.3 outta 10 (Over 337 votes) - Vote Now!

(Peter, Joe, Cleveland and Quagmire are stranded in the ocean after a hurricane.)
Joe: AHHHHHHHHHH!!! Peter! You've been eating my legs??
Peter: Yeah see, now this is why I didn't say anything. I knew you were going to get like this.
Quote Rating: 8.3 outta 10 (Over 437 votes) - Vote Now!

Peter: I didn't even fart until I was 30.
(Flash back, Peter hears a farting sound)
Peter: What the hell was that?
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Peter: Alright, there's one, let's jump that.
(Peter and Brian do a jump off of the back of a truck)
Peter and Brian: YEEEEEEEHAW!!!!!
(They land)
Peter: Oh that was great! Hey, next time let's get Meg to be Boss Hog and Chris can be Anus.
Brian: Enos.
Peter: What'd I say?
Brian: Anus.
Peter: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Quote Rating: 8.3 outta 10 (Over 86 votes) - Vote Now!

Lois (falls out of limo, with booze drunk): La La La La, Family Guy. Heeeeeeeeeey everybody!
Peter: I'm sorry, I am so sorry! There was booze in the car. I'm sorry.
Lois: WOOOOOOOO.
Peter: Lois, for Christ Sake, take it easy.
Lois: When I heard, when I heard we were gonna be in a movie I was like, "fuck yeah!"
Peter: Alright, alright, okay. Let's just try and walk straight here. Lois get up. C'mon.
Lois: Get on.
Peter: I am not gonna get on, Lois. Lois you get up.
Lois: Peter, get on.
Peter: Son of a bitch. I, I am really sorry everybody.
Lois throws up.
Peter: Oh, God! Uhhhhh. Okay you know what? Let's get inside. (Put Lois on his back) C'mon.
(Lois head hits a trash can): Ow!
Quote Rating: 8.3 outta 10 (Over 80 votes) - Vote Now!

Counselor: I'd like to put video cameras in every room of your house so that I can observe your uncensored behavior.
Peter: Wow, just like that show Big Brother ... except somebody'll be watching.
Quote Rating: 8.3 outta 10 (Over 589 votes) - Vote Now!

Peter: Well guys, my vasectomy is tomorrow.
Cleveland: You poor bastard. After all, sex is pointless without potantcy.
Quagmire: That's right, you take the venom out of a cobra and what do you got? You got a...a belt.
Quote Rating: 8.3 outta 10 (Over 100 votes) - Vote Now!