Peter Griffin Quotes (249 - 256 out of 362)
Peter is the head of the Griffin family household. He is one of the most typical males imaginable. He's fat, loves Pawtucket Beer, and is always there for some good physical comedy. Peter used to work at a toy factory and now we're just not sure what he does...
I.R.S. Representative: Well sir, I'm afraid that you don't qualify for a tax refund.
Peter: AAAHHHHH...Oh sorry--I still haven't gotten over the loss of Party of Five.
I.R.S.: Well, as I was saying you are not getting a tax refund.
Peter: AAAHHHHHH...Oh Party of Five. What were you saying?
IRS: You're not intitled to a tax refund.
Peter: AAHHHHH!
IRS: Was that for Party of Five again?
Peter: No, that was for my tax refund! What the hell is Party of Five!?
Quote Rating:
8.2 outta 10 (Over 1076 votes)
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Meg: I finally get my driver's license and the car gets taken away, how ironic.
Peter: Meg, don't talk to your mother that way, she is not an iron.
Quote Rating:
8.2 outta 10 (Over 328 votes)
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Lois (looking at a used car Peter wants): Peter, this car has dents in it, and it's got a cardboard steering wheel.
Peter: Just a second honey.
Lois: And look, there's no engine! It just has a drawing of an engine!
Car salesman: But it only had one previous owner....James Bond!
Peter: I'll take it!
Quote Rating:
8.2 outta 10 (Over 146 votes)
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Peter: If I wasn't so sure you were a lesbian, I'd say you were coming on to me.
Quote Rating:
8.2 outta 10 (Over 146 votes)
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Peter: My son here is gonna be the best thing to happen in New York since Mayor Giuliani had all the homeless people secretly killed.
Quote Rating:
8.1 outta 10 (Over 254 votes)
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Peter: I'm not afraid of anything, I laugh in the face of Death. See HAHAHAHA.
Death: Oh great! Thanks a lot. As if it wasnt already hard enough to fit in.
Quote Rating:
8.1 outta 10 (Over 866 votes)
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Peter: Wow, it's like I've died and went to heaven. But then they realized it wasn't my time yet. So they sent me to a brewery.
Quote Rating:
8.1 outta 10 (Over 447 votes)
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Lois: (Noticing Chris' pimple): Oh my God! Look at the size of that pimple, you're like a circus freak! (Laughs.) Aw, I'm just kidding, it means you're becoming a man, sweetie.
Peter: Yeah, I remember when I first became a man.
Doctor: The operation was a success. What are you going to go by now?
(Peter looks under his hospital gown)
Peter: Peter...
Quote Rating:
8.1 outta 10 (Over 346 votes)
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