Peter Griffin Quotes (257 - 264 out of 362)

Peter is the head of the Griffin family household. He is one of the most typical males imaginable. He's fat, loves Pawtucket Beer, and is always there for some good physical comedy. Peter used to work at a toy factory and now we're just not sure what he does...

Peter: Don't worry, I've got an idea-an idea so smart my head would explode if I even began to know what I was talking about.
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Lois: Hey I know, lets play a game. Now I'm thinking of a movie.
Meg: Is it an action movie?
Chris: Who's in the movie?
Peter: Wait, is it a good movie?
Lois: Eh, it has its moments.
Peter: Cool Runnings
Lois: Yep!
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Peter: Ok, there's this Jewish guy and a Chinese guy at a bar, and...oh, God (looking at a bunch of Jewish men on one side, and Chinese men on the other side)! Ok, so there's this Jewish guy and a Chinese guy at a bar, and they see this naked priest...oh, sorry Father.
Naked Priest: Nah, it's alright. I've heard them all.
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Peter: You know, some people think that dandlions are weeds, but, you know, I always think, who the hell decided tulips were so great?
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Peter: Whoa whoa whoa, what's this, my bill or my phone number?
Secretary: Ummm, that's your phone number, sir.
Peter: Oh, hehehe. Well it's still pretty pricy!
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Peter: Huh, you know somthing? I always thought that dogs laid eggs. So, yeah. I learned something today.
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Peter: Okay now when we get to your mother's cage say "hello", but don't drag your ass, because I want to go to the reptile house. Oh, and I want to see those pandas.
Brian: Peter, this isn't a zoo, it's a prison!
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Lois: Peter, isn't she beautiful?
Peter: Yeah, but I think she's with that guy. They've been holding hands all night.
Lois: Peter, I meant Meg.
Peter: Oh, yeah, she's hot.
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