Peter Griffin Quotes (289 - 296 out of 362)

Peter is the head of the Griffin family household. He is one of the most typical males imaginable. He's fat, loves Pawtucket Beer, and is always there for some good physical comedy. Peter used to work at a toy factory and now we're just not sure what he does...

Peter: (singing to children at Sunday school): Jesus loves me... He loves me a bunch... he always puts Skippy in my lunch
Quote Rating: 7.8 outta 10 (Over 152 votes) - Vote Now!

Peter: Boy, I haven't been this creeped out since I saw that episode of Star Trek.
(Cut to shot of USS Enterprise-D orbiting some planet, then cut to bridge of Enterprise)
Captain Picard: Number One.
Commander Riker: Yes, Captain.
Captain Picard: Let me ask you something. If I whispered in your ear that Commander Worf's head looks like a fanny, would you join me in a laugh?
Commander Riker: Yeah, I could get in on that.
Captain Picard: All right! Here it comes! (Shouting despite using a whispering gesture) Commander Worf's head looks like a fanny!
(Everyone laughs)
Commander Worf: You can both suck my ridges.
Captain Picard: Oh, get a sense of humour, Rocky Dennis.
Quote Rating: 7.8 outta 10 (Over 63 votes) - Vote Now!

Quagmire: Peter, I can remember a dozen times when you've saved our asses
(Peter walks through a door holding a sword,like in Pulp Fiction, to his friends tied up and gagged)
Peter Griffin: Yeah, too bad I got there after the sodomy.
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Peter to Lois, discussing the expensive relationship tape from the mail: Our relationship can't be measured in nipples and dimes. I mean, nickels and boobs. Money.
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Meg: He's going back to Cecilia? I can't believe I'm actually jealous!
Lois: I can't I actually touched him!
Peter: I still can't believe it's not butter! Hahahahaha. Next week I run for the mayor of Quahog. Do I have what it takes? We'll find out, don't miss it.
Quote Rating: 7.8 outta 10 (Over 148 votes) - Vote Now!

Rehab Doctor: Wait a minute, Brian you have a prexisting relationship with this degenerate?
Peter: A degenerate am I? Well you are a festizio. See I can make up words too, sister.
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Peter (giving Chris some advice on gifts for women): Listen Chris, I read a book saying that women are from Venus, all right so here's what you get her. Thick layers of sulphuric acid, viscous surface rock, and coronets which seem to be collapsed domes of a large magma chamber. Here's five dollars.
Quote Rating: 7.8 outta 10 (Over 118 votes) - Vote Now!

Peter- You know what really grinds my gears? No one's come up with a new priest and a rabbi joke in like 30 years. Ok, ok, uh, a priest and a rabbi go into..the supermarket. And the preist says, let's buy a ham. And the rabbi says, "Nope. Can't eat it. Not allowed. It's forbidden." Pigs are like super-heroes to them. Is it perfect? No! But I dont see you coming up with anything better. And that, people, is what grinds my gears. Tom.
Quote Rating: 7.8 outta 10 (Over 77 votes) - Vote Now!