Peter Griffin Quotes (313 - 320 out of 362)

Peter is the head of the Griffin family household. He is one of the most typical males imaginable. He's fat, loves Pawtucket Beer, and is always there for some good physical comedy. Peter used to work at a toy factory and now we're just not sure what he does...

Couselor: Mr. Griffin, I've been watching you, and I don't think you're an addict.
Peter: Well I'm not paying you to think, hot lips! Count it! (Does basketball hand motion.)
Quote Rating: 7.6 outta 10 (Over 58 votes) - Vote Now!

Joe: What's wrong Peter?
Peter: (Sighs) It's nothing Joe, it's I don't know, it's just that all you guys have something to be proud of; Quagmire got a key to the city, Mort bowled a perfect game, you're always getting medals for catching crooks, hell even Cleveland used to be an accomplished auctioneer.
(Flashback)
Cleveland: (Talking fast) I have 125, do I hear 130? one-hundred thirty thousand for this authentic Comensia headress, I got 130, I got 130, Do I hear 135, One-Fort....(Gets hit in head with totem, then his voice slows down) One..Thirty..five goin' once.
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Brian: Peter, if you just let me talk, I'll explain to you why you shouldn't do this.
Peter: Later, later Brian, I gotta do something people will remember me for. Which is why I've invented a new type of flying machine.
Stewie: You know, I vaguely recall seeing footage somewhere of something exactly like this, which leads me to believe this probably won't work.
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Peter (looking around at a posh rehab clinic): This is the kind of place God would go to if He had to stop doing blow.
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Chris: What's a library, dad?
Peter: Oh, it's just a place where homeless people come to shave and go BM.
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Peter: You know what I haven't had in awhile? Big League Chew.
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Peter (to Lois): That's because Christians don't believe in gravity.
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Peter: Lois, my penis belongs on stage!
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