Peter Griffin Quotes (321 - 328 out of 362)

Peter is the head of the Griffin family household. He is one of the most typical males imaginable. He's fat, loves Pawtucket Beer, and is always there for some good physical comedy. Peter used to work at a toy factory and now we're just not sure what he does...

Peter: I think the lesson here is, it really doesn't matter where you're from, as long as we're all the same religion.
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Peter: Just a small town girl...livin' in a lonely world. She took a midnight train goin' anywhere.
Come on Cleveland!
Cleveland: No, no i couldn't. Well ok. Just a city boy... born and raise in south Detroit...
Man: Hey it's Journey!
People at funeral: Hey it's Journey! Let's go!
(Lady crying at the droped coffin looks up): Hey it's Journey (leaves)
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Peter- You know what really grinds my gears? No one's come up with a new priest and a rabbi joke in like 30 years. Ok, ok, uh, a priest and a rabbi go into..the supermarket. And the preist says, let's buy a ham. And the rabbi says, "Nope. Can't eat it. Not allowed. It's forbidden." Pigs are like super-heroes to them. Is it perfect? No! But I dont see you coming up with anything better. And that, people, is what grinds my gears. Tom.
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Peter: Lois, brothers and sisters fighting is as natural as a white man's dialogue in a Spike Lee movie.
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Peter: Pictures speak louder than words. Because some words are big and hard to understand.
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Peter: Oh man, Lois is really pissed at me.
Brian: Yeah, who knew welfare fraud was one of her buttons?
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Peter: How many monkeys does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three--one to screw it in and two to throw feces at each other.
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Peter: Here's to our neighbors. They may be black, handicap, or a heartless sex hound. But if it weren't for them, some smelly Hawaiians might move in.
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