Peter Griffin Quotes (329 - 336 out of 362)

Peter is the head of the Griffin family household. He is one of the most typical males imaginable. He's fat, loves Pawtucket Beer, and is always there for some good physical comedy. Peter used to work at a toy factory and now we're just not sure what he does...

Peter (while digging a hole for a pool): Kids, promise me you won't go swimming without a lifeguard. It's my duty as a parent to make sure you're safe.....hehehehehe....doody.....hehehehe....diarrhea. Hey, Lois....diarrhea."
Lois: Oh Peter, I'm carrying iced tea.
Quote Rating: 7.5 outta 10 (Over 65 votes) - Vote Now!

(Peter talking about restitution to Mr. Pewterschmidt)
Peter: I want what Cleveland got: an apology and some Rice Krispies.
Mr. Pewterschmidt: Well, an apology is out of the question, and I'm assuming "Rice Krispies" is some kind of black slang for money, so here's $10,000.
Peter: Oh my God.
Mr. Pewterschmidt: Fine make it $20,000, but that's it. How do you spell Kidchwa? K-i...
Peter: Uh you know what, screw the Kidchwa. Make it out to Peter Griffin, P-e-t-e-r...
Quote Rating: 7.5 outta 10 (Over 51 votes) - Vote Now!

Peter: I am Neptune, God of the Sea. I sink ships and conjure up storms.
King Neptune: No you're not, I am!
Quote Rating: 7.4 outta 10 (Over 116 votes) - Vote Now!

Stewie: I say, am I to spend the entire day wallowing around in my own feces? A little service here.
Peter: Hey stinky. Have we got big plans for you.
Stewie: Plans? What the devil are you talking about?
Quote Rating: 7.4 outta 10 (Over 49 votes) - Vote Now!

Lois: Now kids, your father's just trying to spend time with his family. Or kill us. I'm not sure which.
Quote Rating: 7.4 outta 10 (Over 139 votes) - Vote Now!

Lois:Peter i'm worried about Meg. She might get a coke addiction.
Peter: No coke, Pepsi.
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Peter: While I'm at it give me all these copies of "Marie Claire." Ya know in case I wanna rub out that easy one before I get Lois into bed tonight.
Mort: Kathleen Turner's on page 45.
Peter: Kathleen Turner..ehh let's see how she looks..oh that's a shame.
Quote Rating: 7.4 outta 10 (Over 162 votes) - Vote Now!

Peter: Your aunt Marguerite is probably laughing at me while she's burning in hell, may she rest in peace.
Quote Rating: 7.4 outta 10 (Over 346 votes) - Vote Now!