Peter Griffin Quotes (65 - 72 out of 362)
Peter is the head of the Griffin family household. He is one of the most typical males imaginable. He's fat, loves Pawtucket Beer, and is always there for some good physical comedy. Peter used to work at a toy factory and now we're just not sure what he does...
Doctor: Mr. Griffin, you're fine.
Peter: Oh now you're coming on to me?
Lois: Peter, he's not coming on to you, he's telling you you're healthy!
Doctor: Can't it be both?
Quote Rating:
9.2 outta 10 (Over 220 votes)
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Peter: I don't say this often enough, but, uh, I'm gonna die.
Lois: Oh my God.
Stewie: High five! Anyone? Anyone?
Quote Rating:
9.1 outta 10 (Over 481 votes)
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Peter: Lois, you've got a sick mind!
Lois: Peter, I'm talking about making love.
Peter: Oh, I thought you wanted us to murder the children and harvest their organs for beer money.
Quote Rating:
9.1 outta 10 (Over 402 votes)
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Lois: You see, our son Chris, well...
Peter: Wait, Lois, we have to handle this delicately. Our son....wants....to plow you.
Mrs. Lockheart: Oh, I thought it was something like that.
Quote Rating:
9.1 outta 10 (Over 256 votes)
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Lois: Oh, my God! You can only play the piano when you're drunk!
Peter: Now that's not true! I can also vomit, fall down and make dirty calls to your sister when I'm drunk!
Quote Rating:
9.1 outta 10 (Over 458 votes)
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Peter: Hey Lois, give Chris a break. I mean, no tv? So he failed a class, it's not like he felt up his cousin in the garage that one time when I was 19.
Quote Rating:
9.1 outta 10 (Over 180 votes)
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Black Knight: You see kids, your father is nothing but a fizzle!
(Peter reappears in armour and on a horse.)
Peter: Nobody calls me a fizzle and gets away with it! Except for that one guy who called me a fizzle and then ran away, he got away with it. But most of the people who call me a fizzle don't get away with it! Actually he was the only guy to ever call me a fizzle, but after today only half the people who have ever called me a fizzle will have gotten away with it!
Quote Rating:
9.1 outta 10 (Over 181 votes)
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Cleveland: All he needs is another lemon snow cone.
Peter: No thanks, that yellow snow cone you gave me didn't taste like lemon, it tasted more like...oh you guys are asses!
Quote Rating:
9.1 outta 10 (Over 353 votes)
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