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Glen Quagmire Quotes (9 - 16 out of 42)

A fan of the ladies, Quagmire is Spooner St's resident perv. Quagmire has an unhealthy obsession with Lois, feet, and underage women. Giggity giggity.

Quagmire: Fat chicks need love too...they just have to PAY!
Quote Rating: 9.3 outta 10 (Over 414 votes) - Vote Now!

My fellow Americans, I have not been entirely truthful with you. I did gagoogidy that girl. I gashmoygadied her gaflavity with my googus. And I am sorry.
Quote Rating: 9.3 outta 10 (Over 495 votes) - Vote Now!

Quagmire (with a trashy girl on his arm): Hang around little guy, I'll be back later (he winks).
Stewie: Oh very well. I suppose I'll go and pump the chemical toilet. (Eyes the trashy girl.) apparently, you're about to do the same.
Quote Rating: 9.2 outta 10 (Over 77 votes) - Vote Now!

Peter: If you could be stranded on a desert island with any woman in the world, who would it be?
Quagmire: Taylor Hanson.
Joe Swanson: Taylor Hanson is a guy.
Quagmire: [Laughs] You guys are yankin' me. "Hey, let's put one over on Quagmire."
Peter: No, he's actually a guy, Quagmire.
Quagmire: What? That's insane. That's impossible.
[Pause]
Quagmire: Oh God. Oh my God. I've got all these magazines. Oh God.
Quote Rating: 9.2 outta 10 (Over 1107 votes) - Vote Now!

(Peter, Quagmire, Joe, and Cleveland are using a radar to listen to what people are saying and they happen to pick up of what Quagmire is thinking to himself.)
Quagmire: God this itches! I wonder who I got it from. Probably that skank that I gave a ride to the gas station. Last time I do someone a favor. Oh God! They heard me! Oh god! I heard me! LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA!"
Quote Rating: 9.1 outta 10 (Over 228 votes) - Vote Now!

Brooke: Quagmire, will you accept this rose?
Quagmire: Really? After I drugged you and had sex with your unconscious body?
Brooke: What?
Quagmire: Yes.
Quote Rating: 9.1 outta 10 (Over 468 votes) - Vote Now!

Quagmire: Hello, and welcome to another edition of Midnight Q. Tonight we're gonna enjoy some jazz from Charles Mingus. Norman Maylor's here to read an excerpt from his latest work. And we also have a girl from Omaha hiding a banana. We're gonna find out where. Giggity giggity. Giggity goo. Stick around.
Quote Rating: 9.1 outta 10 (Over 322 votes) - Vote Now!

Tricia Takanawa: Thank you, Diane.  Sex.  Some people have it anonymously.  What kind of person would do that you might ask? Well, I'm about to find out. I've just picked up a complete stranger in a hotel bar and he's in the bathroom right now,  
possibly doing drugs. Watch as I have sex with this potentially dangerous man, as we take you in-depth and undercover.
(Quagmire walks into the room in his boxers and lays down on the bed.)
Quagmire: I've never had a Spanish chick before!  O-LE!!!
Quote Rating: 9.0 outta 10 (Over 249 votes) - Vote Now!

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