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Glen Quagmire Quotes (17 - 24 out of 42)

A fan of the ladies, Quagmire is Spooner St's resident perv. Quagmire has an unhealthy obsession with Lois, feet, and underage women. Giggity giggity.

Quagmire: Here's to the Drunken Clam, where they don't ask for proof of age and neither do I.
Quote Rating: 8.9 outta 10 (Over 288 votes) - Vote Now!

Quagmire: "Hey there little lady. Why don't you turn around and show me your Lower East Side."
Woman (man voice) : "Sure."
Quagmire: "Whoa, transvestite, back off! Wait a minute...pre-op or post-op?"
Woman: "Pre-op."
Quagmire: "Whoa, transvestite, back off!"
Quote Rating: 8.9 outta 10 (Over 323 votes) - Vote Now!

Peter: I'm gonna go microwave a bagel and have sex with it.
Quagmire: Butter's in the fridge!
Quote Rating: 8.8 outta 10 (Over 715 votes) - Vote Now!

Quagmire: I felt guilty once, but she woke up halfway through.
Quote Rating: 8.8 outta 10 (Over 518 votes) - Vote Now!

(In the middle of the night, Peter wakes the whole neighborhood by yelling.)
Peter: Hey everybody! Meg just had her first period!
Joe: PETER! Shut up its three in the morning!
Cleveland: What the hell is going on out there?!
Quagmire: Damn it! People are trying to sleep!
Peter: I'm just saying! I'm proud of her. She's a woman! Yea!
Quagmire: Yes, Peter, that's very hot, and I'll deal with it in the morning, but right now, I am exhausted!
Quote Rating: 8.8 outta 10 (Over 213 votes) - Vote Now!

Quagmire (runs outside in a robe): Hey guys, what's going on? I was just jerki ... ed out of a deep sleep.
Quote Rating: 8.7 outta 10 (Over 789 votes) - Vote Now!

Quagmire: So, you ladies ever been penetrated?
Quote Rating: 8.6 outta 10 (Over 662 votes) - Vote Now!

Peter: I told Lois I wouldn't drink
Quagmire: Don't feel so bad Peter
Peter: Hey, I never thought of it that way.
Quote Rating: 8.6 outta 10 (Over 551 votes) - Vote Now!

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