Stewie Griffin Quotes (41 - 48 out of 182)

How many talking babies do you know bent on world domination and matricide? We'd rather only know one, Stewie Griffin. From week to week he's always try to kill Lois, fighting with Brian, and deal with his farily newfound homosexuality.

Chris: Here Stewie, have a fig newton.
(Stewie eats the cookie.)
Stewie (while chewing): I say, I must use him for, OH GOD THERE'S AN ORGY IN MY MOUTH!!!!!
Quote Rating: 9.1 outta 10 (Over 210 votes) - Vote Now!

Stewie: Did you forge my name? How dare you! Is this backwards "S" supposed to be cute? I'm going to crap double for you tonight!
Quote Rating: 9.1 outta 10 (Over 293 votes) - Vote Now!

(Peter is trying to potty train Stewie)
Peter: C'mon Stewie, don't you want to pee in the toilet like a big boy?
Stewie: Well, perhaps I could give it the old college try. Would you put your hands there on the toilet seat, it'll help me relax.
Peter: OK. (Slams toilet seat down on Peter's fingers.) AAAHHHHHH!!!!
Stewie: Listen you, I'll use these facilities when I'm DAMN WELL READY!!!! Until then you shall continue to sanitize my crevice and be DAMN GRATFEUL FOR THE OPPORTUNITY!!! Starting right . . .hmmp. . . hmmmp. . . . .hmmmmmp well then, not now, BUT SOON! (Walks off.)
Quote Rating: 9.1 outta 10 (Over 268 votes) - Vote Now!

Stewie: By all means, turn me into a child star. Perhaps I can move to Californ-i-ay and wrangle me a three-way with the Olsen twins.
Quote Rating: 9.1 outta 10 (Over 493 votes) - Vote Now!

Stewie: I'm the dog. I'm well read and have a diverse stock portfolio. But I'm not above eating grass clippings and regurgitating them on the rug.
Brian: I'm a pompous little antichrist who will abandon my plans for world domination when I grow up and wind up settling with a rough trick named Jim.
Quote Rating: 9.1 outta 10 (Over 350 votes) - Vote Now!

Stewie: Easy! Massage the scalp. You're washing a baby's hair, not scrubbing vomit off your Christmas dress, you holiday drunk.
Quote Rating: 9.0 outta 10 (Over 397 votes) - Vote Now!

Stewie: I bet you lost your virginity to a mechanical bull.
Quote Rating: 9.0 outta 10 (Over 207 votes) - Vote Now!

Stewie: Oh damn! Jeremy is still in the trunk! How long has it been, two weeks? Yeah, he's dead.
Quote Rating: 9.0 outta 10 (Over 319 votes) - Vote Now!