Tom Tucker Quotes (1 - 8 out of 19)
Tom Tucker's your classic narcisstic news guy. Plus he's guy a son with an upside down face. Weird.
Tom Tucker: And now time for Ollie Williams with the Black-U-Weather Forecast. Ollie?
Ollie: It gon rain.
Tom Tucker: Thanks, Ollie.
Quote Rating:
9.4 outta 10 (Over 744 votes)
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Diane Simmons: Tom, I'm getting late word that you're a petty, jealous closet-case.
Tom Tucker: Bit of breaking news, we now go live to Diane being a bitch. Diane.
Quote Rating:
9.3 outta 10 (Over 653 votes)
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Tom Tucker: Because of an accident today at the Quahog cable company, all television transmission will be out for an undetermined amount of time. Of course, no one can see this news program, so it doesn't really matter what we say. I'm the Lord Jesus Christ. I think I'll go get drunk and beat up some midgets, how about you, Diane?
Diane Simmons: Well, Tom, I just plain don't like black people.
Camera man: Hey guys, we're still on in Boston.
Quote Rating:
9.3 outta 10 (Over 257 votes)
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Tom: And now to our weatherman Ollie Williams for the Blackie-Weather Forecast, Ollie?
Olie: IT'S RAININ' SIDEWAYS!
Tom: Don't you have an umbrella?
Olie: USED TO!
Tom: Where is it now?
Olie: INSIDE OUT TWO MILES AWAY!
Tom: Is there anything we can do for you?
Olie: BRING ME SOME SOUP!
Tom: What kind?
Olie: CHUNKY!
Tom: Thanks, Ollie. Up next, a pig that refuses to eat Jews. After this.
Quote Rating:
9.2 outta 10 (Over 957 votes)
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Tom Tucker: And now over to Ollie Williams for the blackie punishment forecast, Ollie?
Ollie: HE GON' GET IT!
Tom Tucker: Thanks Ollie!
Quote Rating:
9.1 outta 10 (Over 282 votes)
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Tom Tucker: Well Diane, that last report was so good I think you deserve a spanking.
Diane: Oh Tom, I don't think your wife would appreciate that.
Tom: Haha, that frigid old cow lives in Quahog she can't hear a word I'm saying.
Camera Guy: Actually, we're back on the air in Quahog.
Quote Rating:
9.0 outta 10 (Over 437 votes)
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Tom Tucker: A bit of breaking news. A local family is forced out of their home by ghosts. Who are they gonna call?
Diane Simmons (sighs): Ghostbusters, Tom.
Tom Tucker: No, Diane. Their insurance company. That's just stupid what you said.
Quote Rating:
9.0 outta 10 (Over 600 votes)
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Tom Tucker: Now let's go to Greg The Weather Mime. OK... it's going to be cold... lots of wind... and it looks like parents are going to throw human fecal matter from the rooftops onto their children ... oh, GOD. That's awful. No wait, it looks like rain. Yes, rain.
Quote Rating:
8.8 outta 10 (Over 488 votes)
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