E. Peterbus Unum Quotes (1 - 8 out of 10)

Peter: Well, I'm gettin' something really special too. And by special I don't mean special like that Kleinaman boy down the street. More special like... like Special K, the cereal. Hey, what do they do with the regular K? And for that matter, what ever happend to K. Ballard? You know, if you said mallard and you had a cold, it would sound like ballard.
Brian: Do you listen to yourself when you talk?
Peter: I drift in and out.
Quote Rating: 9.4 outta 10 (Over 1161 votes) - Vote Now!

Peter: Ok, here's another riddle. A woman has two children. A homicidal murderer tells her she can only keep one. Which one does she let him kill?
Brian: That's... that's not a riddle. That's ... that's just terrible.
Peter: Wrong, the ugly one!
Quote Rating: 9.3 outta 10 (Over 1016 votes) - Vote Now!

Police Officer: Hey. That's Against the law. You're coming with me.
Peter: (singing to the tune of U Can't Touch this) Ah ah ah ah. Can't Touch Me/ Can't Touch me/ Ja ja ja ja just like the bad guy/ from Lethal Weapon 2/ I've got diplomatic Immunity/ so Hammer, you can't sue/ I can write graffiti even jay-walk in the streets/ I can Riot, loot, not give a hoot, and touch your sister's teat/ Can't touch me/ Can't touch me/
Adam West: What in God's name is he doing?
Peter: Can't touch me.
Cleveland: I believe that's the worm.
Peter: (still singing) Can't touch me/ STOP, Peter time/ I'm a big shot, there's no doubt/ light a fire then pee it out/ Don't like it, kiss my rump/ Just for a minute, let's all do the bump/ Can't touch me/ Yeah, do the Peter Griffin Bump/ Can't touch me/ I'm Presidential Peter/ Interns think I'm hot/ Don't care if you're handicapped, I'll still park in your spot/ I've been around the world/ from Hartford to Back Bay/ It's Peter, Go Peter, I'm so Peter, Yo Peter, Let's see Regis rap this way/ Can't touch me.
Quote Rating: 9.2 outta 10 (Over 529 votes) - Vote Now!

Adam West: I love this job more than I love taffy ... and I'm a man who enjoys his taffy.
Quote Rating: 8.5 outta 10 (Over 490 votes) - Vote Now!

Chris: Dad, I tried to go to school but this guy won't let me.
Peter: Oh yeah? Him and what army?
Chris: The U.S. Army.
Peter: Oh, that's a good army.
Quote Rating: 8.2 outta 10 (Over 336 votes) - Vote Now!

Adam West: We invited Reverend Jesse Jackson to open up our ceremonies with a prayer.
(Crowd mutters in excitement)
Adam West: Unfortunately he could not make it, so instead we have LaToya Jackson.
LaToya Jackson: Rub a dub dub, thanks for the grub. Yea God!
Adam West: How very inappropriate, thank you.
Quote Rating: 8.1 outta 10 (Over 155 votes) - Vote Now!

Cleveland: Oh, Peter, that tickles me in a way, that if Loretta tickled me in that way, I'd say, Oh yea ... that's nice ... that's the spot.
Quote Rating: 8.0 outta 10 (Over 376 votes) - Vote Now!

(Lois is teaching Chris, Stewie and Meg and notices a note being passed.)
Lois: Chris read that note.
Chris: "I think Mrs. Griffin is hot."
Lois: Go to your room!
Quote Rating: 7.7 outta 10 (Over 429 votes) - Vote Now!