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Holy Crap Quotes (1 - 8 out of 10)


Peter: Sometimes it's appropriate to swear
(Peter is in court)
Bailiff: Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you god?
Peter: I do........You bastard
Quote Rating: 9.4 outta 10 (Over 381 votes) - Vote Now!

Peter: Hey, what are you doing here?
Superman: I killed a hooker. She made a crack about me being faster than a speeding bullet so I ripped her in half like a phonebook.
Quote Rating: 9.1 outta 10 (Over 489 votes) - Vote Now!

Peter: We all love the bible in this house.
Francis: Really? What's your favourite book of the bible.
Peter: Umm ... the one where Jesus swallows the puzzle piece, and the man in a big yellow hat has to take him to the hospital.
Quote Rating: 9.0 outta 10 (Over 446 votes) - Vote Now!

Stewie: You know, I rather like this God fellow. Very theatrical, you know. Pestilence here, a plague there. Omnipotence ... gotta get me some of that.
Quote Rating: 9.0 outta 10 (Over 602 votes) - Vote Now!

Lois: Where would he go?
Peter: I don't know. I just asked him to buy me some peanuts and Crackerjacks.
Brian: I don't care if he ever gets back. I wasn't being cute, I really hope he's dead.
Quote Rating: 9.0 outta 10 (Over 423 votes) - Vote Now!

Stewie (reading the Bible): My, my. What a thumping good read! Lions eatting Christians, people nailing each other to two-by-fours. I say, you won't find that in Winnie the Pooh.
Quote Rating: 8.5 outta 10 (Over 152 votes) - Vote Now!

Peter: My dad worked at that factory for sixty years. That's almost eighty years.
Quote Rating: 8.4 outta 10 (Over 352 votes) - Vote Now!

Grandpa Griffin: You're a good woman, Lois. Perhaps you won't burn in hell after all. Maybe you'll just go to purgatory with all the unbaptized babies.
Peter: There you go, Lois, you love kids.
Quote Rating: 8.3 outta 10 (Over 325 votes) - Vote Now!

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