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Drinking Quotes (1 - 8 out of 33)

Here's to alcohol, a never-ending source of humor and absurdity. Peter and Brian are often at their best when inebriated.

Peter: Hey hey I got an idea. Lets play "I Never." You got to drink if you did the thing that the person says they never did.
Cleveland: Oh I got one, I never slept with a women with the lights on.
(They all drink.)
Joe: I'll go next, uh I never had sex with Cleveland's wife.
(Quagmire and Cleveland drink.)
Peter: alright lets see uh, I never did a chick in a Logan airport bathroom.
(Only Quagmire drinks.)
****About 33 drinks later****
Peter: God lets see what else is there um...I never gave a reach-around to a spider monkey while reciting the Pledge of Alligence.
Quagmire: Oh God.
(Quagmire takes a drink.)
Joe: I uh I never picked up an illegal alien at Home Depot to take home a choke me while I touch myself.
Quagmire: Oh come on!
(Quagmire drinks again.)
Peter: I never did the same thing except with someone from Joann Fabrics.
Quagmire: Oh God this is ridiculous. You guys suck! (Drinks more and passes out.)
Quote Rating: 9.5 outta 10 (Over 2278 votes) - Vote Now!

Brian: You're drunk.
Stewie: You're sexy.
Quote Rating: 9.4 outta 10 (Over 532 votes) - Vote Now!

Lois: You're drunk again.
Peter: No, I'm just exhausted 'cause I've been up all night drinking.
Quote Rating: 9.4 outta 10 (Over 1061 votes) - Vote Now!

Lois: Peter, what did you promise me?
Peter: That I wouldn't drink at the stag party.
Lois: And what did you do?
Peter: Drank at the stag pa-- ... Whoa. I almost walked into that one.
Quote Rating: 9.2 outta 10 (Over 784 votes) - Vote Now!

Peter: Lois, you've got a sick mind!
Lois: Peter, I'm talking about making love.
Peter: Oh, I thought you wanted us to murder the children and harvest their organs for beer money.
Quote Rating: 9.1 outta 10 (Over 402 votes) - Vote Now!

Lois: Oh, my God! You can only play the piano when you're drunk!
Peter: Now that's not true! I can also vomit, fall down and make dirty calls to your sister when I'm drunk!
Quote Rating: 9.1 outta 10 (Over 458 votes) - Vote Now!

Peter: (at the Drunken Clam)...yah and then Chris starts in with all this Yo! Yo! Yo! stuff and I don't know what the hell he's talking about. So i started beating him with a hose and then my arm got I came here.
Quote Rating: 9.0 outta 10 (Over 241 votes) - Vote Now!

Peter (after coming home drunk): Oh, Lois thank God it's you! The last few houses I went to were very rude.
Quote Rating: 9.0 outta 10 (Over 196 votes) - Vote Now!

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