General Quotes (73 - 80 out of 257)
Just because it doesn't fit into a specific category doesn't mean that it isn't funny.
Death: You can't tell anyone that I'm here. For if you do, the consequences could be dire.
Peter: Go on ...
Death: That's it.
[to Lois]
Death: God, what do you see in him?
Quote Rating:
8.7 outta 10 (Over 416 votes)
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Doctor: Mayor West, you have Lymphoma.
Mayor: Oh My.
Doctor: Probably from rolling around in that Toxic waste. What in God's name were you trying to prove?
Mayor: I was trying to gain super powers.
Doctor: Well that's just silly.
Mayor: Silly yes ... Idiotic ... yes.!
Quote Rating:
8.6 outta 10 (Over 728 votes)
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Stewie: What are the stakes of this wager?
Brian: Why don't you just shut up for about a week?
Stewie: Excellent, and if I win?
Brian: I wasn't betting. Why don't you just shut up for about a week?
Stewie (pause): You're on.
Quote Rating:
8.6 outta 10 (Over 411 votes)
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Stewie: That coffee mug that you have on your desk, it says life's a beach? Umm that's dangerously close to the word bitch isn't it?
Brian: Uhh, yeah that's the joke.
Stewie: Oh, absolutely! And nobody appreciates a joke like Stewie, and you know between you and me I think it's a stitch, but some of the other employees found it offensive.
Quote Rating:
8.6 outta 10 (Over 169 votes)
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Hotel Manager: And this is the bathroom, but watch out we got some bad roaches here.
Red Roach: Hey, you're on our turf man!
Green Roach: Hey man! I'll cut you, I'll cut you up so bad you, you gonna wish I no cut you so bad!
Brian: Those are bad roaches.
Manager: I blame the schools.
Quote Rating:
8.6 outta 10 (Over 247 votes)
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Stewie: You look like Snoopy and it makes me smile.
Quote Rating:
8.6 outta 10 (Over 326 votes)
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(Flashback to a school in what looks like Pilgrim times. A girl gives an answer to a math question.)
Teacher: That's correct. A girl answered a math problem. You know what that means. A WITCH!"
Kids: WITCH! WITCH! WITCH! WITCH!
Quote Rating:
8.6 outta 10 (Over 111 votes)
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Peter (to Brian before he gets neutered):I am not looking forward to what you're going to be like once they do this to you.
Brian (overweight and eating a box of chocolates): I LOVE chocolate...but I can't eat it because then I'll get fat. But it's SOOOO good!
Quote Rating:
8.6 outta 10 (Over 233 votes)
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