General Quotes (105 - 112 out of 257)
Just because it doesn't fit into a specific category doesn't mean that it isn't funny.
Lois: Oh, look, Meg, it's your little baby booties. Oh, and your little bronze hat. And your tail.
Meg: My what?
Lois: Nothing.
Quote Rating:
8.3 outta 10 (Over 294 votes)
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Chris: Can I go now? Stewie's gonna help me with my math homework.
Lois: Chris...he can't help you with your homework, he's just a baby!
Stewie: And I guess you're a Rhodes Scholar yourself. Where did you graduate from again, the University of DUH?!?!?
Max Weinstein:I'll help you with your homework son.
Peter: My God!!! Is there nothing you people can't do, except you know... manual labor???
Lois: What a horrible thing to say! They built the pyramids!
Quote Rating:
8.3 outta 10 (Over 121 votes)
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Stewie: Rupert, did you call that engineer at Lockheed yet? Well of course you didn't you worthless little... (Hits Rupert the Toy Bear). There, see what you made me do? Do you think I enjoy hitting you? Well actually I do. I enjoy it so much I'm going to do it AGAIN!!! (Hits Rupert the Toy Bear)
Quote Rating:
8.3 outta 10 (Over 130 votes)
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Stewie: Good shot! Made my brown-eye blue with that one!
Brian: Yeah, well the next one's aimed right at your head!
(Stewie jumps out from behind the tree with a rocket launcher.)
Brian: What the hell?
Stewie: Now is the winter of your discontent!
Quote Rating:
8.3 outta 10 (Over 65 votes)
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Stewie: Now, I'm going to do something I like to call the 'Compliment Sandwhich" Where I say something good, talk about where you need improvement, and then end with something good.
Brian: Whatever you gotta do...
Stewie (flips notepad): Something good... something good... You look like SNOOPY and it makes me smile... but you have smelly dog farts.
Quote Rating:
8.3 outta 10 (Over 316 votes)
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(Guy walks up to Peter and kicks him in the nuts.)
Peter screams.
Lois: Oh, my god! What are you doing?
(Peter is still screaming.)
Lois: What's wrong with you?
Peter: What the hell, man?
Guy: Hurts, doesn't it?
Peter: What the hell do...? Yes! What the hell's your problem?
Guy (laughs): My friend, my friend...
Peter: Ow! Ow! What?!
Guy (pointing at camera): You've been kicked in the nuts!
Peter: No way!
Guy (laughs): You're gonna be on TV.
Peter (shaking guy's hand): Oh, sweet!
Lois: Oh wow!
Peter: Oh, my god!
Lois: We love that show!
Peter (waving at camera): Oh, that is awesome! Hey, hi.
Guy: You're on it!
Quote Rating:
8.3 outta 10 (Over 113 votes)
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Peter: I got no idea how to be black ... y'know, except for not smiling when I get my picture taken.
Quote Rating:
8.3 outta 10 (Over 267 votes)
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(Peter, Joe, Cleveland and Quagmire are stranded in the ocean after a hurricane.)
Joe: AHHHHHHHHHH!!! Peter! You've been eating my legs??
Peter: Yeah see, now this is why I didn't say anything. I knew you were going to get like this.
Quote Rating:
8.3 outta 10 (Over 437 votes)
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