General Quotes (193 - 200 out of 257)
Just because it doesn't fit into a specific category doesn't mean that it isn't funny.
Hotel manager: Open up or I'll hit you with this blunt instrument I use to hit dead-beats with bad credit cards. Well, it's not an instrument, it's more of an object, but it's blunt, hard and blunt, and well ... it's kinda like a bat. I found it out back one day when I was raking.
Quote Rating:
7.5 outta 10 (Over 291 votes)
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Stewie (after breaking the tail off of Brian's mothers stuffed carcass): Loosen up, the old gal doesn't have much to wag about these days anyway.
Quote Rating:
7.5 outta 10 (Over 266 votes)
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Cecilia: Neil is such an amazing guy. We just make an absolutely perfect couple.
Meg: You know...Neil liked me first and I was gonna go out with him when I was ready to settle for him. Get your own spaz!
(Meg walks away)
Gym teacher: All right ladies enough chit-chat. Take it off, get in the shower, and bounce around for me.
Quote Rating:
7.4 outta 10 (Over 151 votes)
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Peter: I am Neptune, God of the Sea. I sink ships and conjure up storms.
King Neptune: No you're not, I am!
Quote Rating:
7.4 outta 10 (Over 116 votes)
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Stewie: I say, am I to spend the entire day wallowing around in my own feces? A little service here.
Peter: Hey stinky. Have we got big plans for you.
Stewie: Plans? What the devil are you talking about?
Quote Rating:
7.4 outta 10 (Over 49 votes)
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Lois:Peter i'm worried about Meg. She might get a coke addiction.
Peter: No coke, Pepsi.
Quote Rating:
7.4 outta 10 (Over 49 votes)
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Lois: Stewie, say hi to our new neighbor, Officer Swanson.
Stewie: You will bow to me!
Quote Rating:
7.4 outta 10 (Over 125 votes)
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Peter: While I'm at it give me all these copies of "Marie Claire." Ya know in case I wanna rub out that easy one before I get Lois into bed tonight.
Mort: Kathleen Turner's on page 45.
Peter: Kathleen Turner..ehh let's see how she looks..oh that's a shame.
Quote Rating:
7.4 outta 10 (Over 162 votes)
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