General Quotes (57 - 64 out of 257)
Just because it doesn't fit into a specific category doesn't mean that it isn't funny.
Peter: As we all know, Christmas is that mystical time of year when the ghost of Jesus rises from the grave to feast on the flesh of the living! So we all sing Christmas Carols to lull him back to sleep.
Bob: Outrageous, How dare he say such blasphemy. I've got to do something.
Man #1: Bob, there's nothing you can do.
Bob: Well, I guess I'll just have to develop a sense of humor.
Quote Rating:
8.8 outta 10 (Over 560 votes)
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Cleveland: I hate Bewitched!
(flips couch while Stewie is on it)
Stewie: Hey...so that's a pretty reasonable reaction huh?
Quote Rating:
8.8 outta 10 (Over 172 votes)
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Robber: I'm gonna go bang my girlfriend and then I'm gonna kill Chris Griffin!
Stewie: Good lord! Can he really say "bang my girlfriend" on TV?
Quote Rating:
8.8 outta 10 (Over 444 votes)
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Lois (to Stewie): Come on sweetie, eat your broccoli. It's good for you! Here comes the airplane!
Stewie (to Lois): Damn you, damn the broccoli, and damn the Wright Brothers!
Quote Rating:
8.8 outta 10 (Over 198 votes)
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Peter: Can't we tell them that your mother died?
Lois: Peter, I'm not gonna lie about something like that.
Peter: All right, all right, I'll kill your mother.
Quote Rating:
8.8 outta 10 (Over 307 votes)
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Congressman: Cigarettes killed my father, and raped my mother.
Quote Rating:
8.8 outta 10 (Over 415 votes)
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(Lois reading Meg's diary with the rest of the family gathered around)
Lois: Dear Diary, Kevin is so hot. Today he was raking the yard. God I wish he'd throw me into that pile of leaves. (Laughter)
Meg: (Walks into the room) Hey what's everyone... Oh my God! You're reading my diary! I HATE YOU ALL! WHAAAAAAA! (Runs away crying)
Peter: (Opens beer) Keep going!
Quote Rating:
8.8 outta 10 (Over 92 votes)
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(In the middle of the night, Peter wakes the whole neighborhood by yelling.)
Peter: Hey everybody! Meg just had her first period!
Joe: PETER! Shut up its three in the morning!
Cleveland: What the hell is going on out there?!
Quagmire: Damn it! People are trying to sleep!
Peter: I'm just saying! I'm proud of her. She's a woman! Yea!
Quagmire: Yes, Peter, that's very hot, and I'll deal with it in the morning, but right now, I am exhausted!
Quote Rating:
8.8 outta 10 (Over 213 votes)
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