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Watch Stewie's adorable attempts to kill his mother in episode after episode. The issue is never whether or not to kill Lois, just the best way in which to do so.

Stewie: It wasn't even about the eggs, really. Frankly, I like the yolks. I have no problem. There's always been a lot of tension between Lois and me. And it's not so much that I want to kill her, it's just, I want her not to be alive anymore. I sometimes wonder if all women are this difficult. And then I think to myself, 'My God wouldn't it be marvelous if i turned out to be a homosexual?'
Quote Rating: 9.4 outta 10 (Over 473 votes) - Vote Now!

Stewie: There's always been a lot of tension between Lois and me, and it's not so much that I want to kill her, it's just, I want her not to be alive anymore.
Quote Rating: 9.4 outta 10 (Over 1649 votes) - Vote Now!

Lois: Stewie why don't you play in the other room?
Stewie: Why don't you burn in hell?
Quote Rating: 9.3 outta 10 (Over 363 votes) - Vote Now!

Stewie: Did you forge my name? How dare you! Is this backwards "S" supposed to be cute? I'm going to crap double for you tonight!
Quote Rating: 9.1 outta 10 (Over 293 votes) - Vote Now!

Stewie: Damn you, vile woman! You've impeded my work since the day I escaped from your wretched womb.
Quote Rating: 9.0 outta 10 (Over 330 votes) - Vote Now!

Lois (to counselor): This is the first act of violence Stewie has ever done.
Stewie: Well actually, the first act of violence was the time bomb I left ticking in your uterus before I came out. Happy 50th birthday Lois!
Quote Rating: 8.7 outta 10 (Over 288 votes) - Vote Now!

Stewie: Hello, mother.
Lois: Why, hello Stewie!
Stewie: Mother, life is like a box of chocolates--you never know what your gonna get. But your life is like a box of active granades!
Lois: Aww, you just want your toy back.
Stewie: Victory is mine! (Granades explode.) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH damn you all!
Quote Rating: 8.5 outta 10 (Over 309 votes) - Vote Now!

Stewie (to Death): Email me at lois must die (all one word) at yahoo.com.
Quote Rating: 8.4 outta 10 (Over 306 votes) - Vote Now!

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