Stupidity Quotes (73 - 80 out of 127)
Sometimes, when things make the least sense, when characters make absurd statements, when nothing is logical, the highest levels of humor ensue!
Peter: I'm getting an Audi!
Brian: Peter, there's a "T." That says "audit."
Peter: No, Brian, it's a foreign car, the "T" is silent. Sweet, I'm getting an Audi!
Quote Rating:
8.4 outta 10 (Over 120 votes)
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Brian returns home with the bachelorette.
Peter: Brian! Welcome home you son-of-a-bitch! So did you lose? Oh, you gotta tell me all about it. Hey, how was bachelorette? Was she a dumb bimbo like you said? But with a big rack?! Ha-ha-ha! C'mon in, you gotta tell me everything! I bet your stories make me laugh so hard I shoot milk outta my nose!
Brian (uncomfortable): Uh, Peter, this is Brooke, the bachelorette. She's, uh, having dinner with us. I went over with this with you a few minutes ago.
Peter: A-ha-ha-ha-ha!! (shoots milk out of his nose onto Brian)
Quote Rating:
8.4 outta 10 (Over 118 votes)
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(During church, as the pastor reads from the bible, Peter starts throwing bibles at people.)
Peter: BIBLE FIGHT!!!!!!!
Quote Rating:
8.4 outta 10 (Over 197 votes)
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Peter: I have a plan so good, it's retarded!
Quote Rating:
8.4 outta 10 (Over 116 votes)
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Peter: My dad worked at that factory for sixty years. That's almost eighty years.
Quote Rating:
8.4 outta 10 (Over 352 votes)
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Meg: I miss Uncle Patrick.
Lois: Don’t worry kids I promise we can visit him once a month
Chris: We’ll be his period.
Quote Rating:
8.4 outta 10 (Over 353 votes)
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Peter: Hey how did you get that?
Death: It was mailed to me by your HMO.
Peter: Woah, just because my doctor was hitting on me doesn't mean you have to call him names.
Quote Rating:
8.4 outta 10 (Over 156 votes)
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Peter: You know that whole Vietnam thing? Never happened.
Brian: Oh yeah, but don't mention it around the Veterans Hospital. Those guys are really committed to the lie.
Quote Rating:
8.4 outta 10 (Over 345 votes)
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