Stupidity Quotes (17 - 24 out of 127)

Sometimes, when things make the least sense, when characters make absurd statements, when nothing is logical, the highest levels of humor ensue!

Peter: Aww man! I hate Trivial Pursuit, it always makes me feel so stupid.
Brian: More stupid then that time you locked your keys out of the car?
(Cut to Peter inside the car with his keys lying outside his car door.)
Peter: Damn it! Hey! Hey! Somebody! Hey! Sir! Sir! Sir! You see those keys there? Sir! Si-! (man walks away) Screw you! (Sticks a bent straight hanger out of his window and trys to catch the keys on the hanger. The keys fall.) Oh waahhaahaaa!
Quote Rating: 9.3 outta 10 (Over 303 votes) - Vote Now!

Brian: And remember that time you had an Irish coffee the day we went to see Philadelphia?
(Scene cuts to Peter in the movie theater and everyone is crying, except him.)
Peter: I got it! Thats the guy from "Big," uh--Tom Hanks! Funny guy Tom Hanks, everything he says is a stitch.
Tom Hanks' Character: I have aids.
(Peter laughs hysterically.)
Quote Rating: 9.3 outta 10 (Over 213 votes) - Vote Now!

Peter (to Meg): Remember that pony you wanted when you were 6? Well I've been waitin for a time like this.
(opens closet door and a skeleton of a pony is there)
Peter: Oh, oh god, that's right ponies, ponies like food.
Quote Rating: 9.2 outta 10 (Over 528 votes) - Vote Now!

Peter: It's a beautiful baby girl!
Carol: Oh, a girl! I'm so happy!
Peter: But it has a penis. (Picks up scalpel.) I'll take care of that.
Lois: Peter, No!
Quote Rating: 9.2 outta 10 (Over 259 votes) - Vote Now!

Lois: Together we can do anything: face any foe, overcome any obstacle.
Peter: Yeah, climb any mountain, rent any video, dial any phone. And not just our phone, Lois, other people's phones. Decent phones, God-fearing phones, phones that everybody else gave up on, but we knew better because we were a team!
Brian: What the hell are you talking about?
Quote Rating: 9.2 outta 10 (Over 499 votes) - Vote Now!

Brian: Hey, do you hear that?
Peter: What?
Brian: Sounds like someone's screaming.
Peter: What? What is it boy? What are you trying to say?
Brian: It sounds like Loretta is screaming.
Peter: Trouble at the old mill?
Brian: What are you insane?
Peter: Somebody fall through the ice?
Brian: It's summer.
Peter: Bobcat?
Brian: RURURURURURU!!!
Peter: Loretta's in trouble?! Come on boy!
Quote Rating: 9.2 outta 10 (Over 302 votes) - Vote Now!

Peter: So did your therapist figure out what the problem was?
Brian: Yeah. He thinks I'm in love.
Peter: Oh my God...you can talk!
Quote Rating: 9.2 outta 10 (Over 312 votes) - Vote Now!

Lois Griffin: Come on Stewie, don't be afraid. It's just water, it's not gonna bite.
Stewie Griffin: Shut up! I know it's not going to bite, stupid! What a stupid thing to say. You drown in it you moron! It doesn't have to bite you!
Quote Rating: 9.2 outta 10 (Over 131 votes) - Vote Now!