Stupidity Quotes (33 - 40 out of 127)
Sometimes, when things make the least sense, when characters make absurd statements, when nothing is logical, the highest levels of humor ensue!
Lois: Peter, why would they make you president?
Peter: Maybe it's because I can recite all 50 states in a quarter of a second - RARF!
Lois: Peter, that was just a loud yelping noise.
Quote Rating:
9.0 outta 10 (Over 1308 votes)
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Peter: We all love the bible in this house.
Francis: Really? What's your favourite book of the bible.
Peter: Umm ... the one where Jesus swallows the puzzle piece, and the man in a big yellow hat has to take him to the hospital.
Quote Rating:
9.0 outta 10 (Over 446 votes)
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Peter: What am I supposed to do with all my great ideas? Put 'em in a tub and clean myself with them? That's what soap is for, Lois.
Quote Rating:
9.0 outta 10 (Over 264 votes)
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Peter-YO LOIS!
Lois-WHAT?
Peter- I'm packing for Kiss-stock and I can't find my favorite underwear.
Lois-You mean the pair with the rip in the right butt check from when you stepped on them pulling them up in that airplane bathroom from when you had the trotts?
Peter-No, no the pair with the whole in the left butt check from when I held it in for two hours cuz it was an extra long Palm Sunday church sermon and I thought that blowing gas would offend jesus so I let it go in the vestabule after mass and it sounded like Louie Armstrong.
Lois-Oh! Bottom drawer.
Quote Rating:
9.0 outta 10 (Over 215 votes)
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Lois: Okay here we go, "What color is a firetruck?"
Peter: Aww, oh God I always get these. Umm..okay..uhh..all right..firetruck..firetruck firetruck firetruck firetruck. What color are those red firetrucks? Uhh..Oh god I can picture them now...all red and everything.
Quote Rating:
8.9 outta 10 (Over 278 votes)
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Peter: The deep south? Isn't that the place where the black guys are really lazy and all the white guys are just as lazy but they're mad at the black guys for being so lazy?
Quote Rating:
8.9 outta 10 (Over 473 votes)
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Peter: A boat's a boat but a box could be anything! It could even be a boat!
Quote Rating:
8.9 outta 10 (Over 222 votes)
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Trisha Takinawa: Here comes Mayor Adam West himself. Mr. West, do you have any words for our viewers?
Mayor Adam West: Box, toaster, aluminum, maple syrup... no I take that one back. I'm gonna hold onto that one.
Quote Rating:
8.9 outta 10 (Over 134 votes)
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