Stupidity Quotes (49 - 56 out of 127)

Sometimes, when things make the least sense, when characters make absurd statements, when nothing is logical, the highest levels of humor ensue!

Peter: Oh this is almost as intense as that time I forgot how to sit down!
Quote Rating: 8.8 outta 10 (Over 255 votes) - Vote Now!

Tom Tucker: Now let's go to Greg The Weather Mime. OK... it's going to be cold... lots of wind... and it looks like parents are going to throw human fecal matter from the rooftops onto their children ... oh, GOD. That's awful. No wait, it looks like rain. Yes, rain.
Quote Rating: 8.8 outta 10 (Over 488 votes) - Vote Now!

Petern: Chris is not as smart as you think he is...
(Peter slaps Chris in the back of the head)
Chris: HEY!
Peter: He did it.
(Peter points to a nearby floor lamp, and Chris attacks it and starts fighting with it.)
Quote Rating: 8.8 outta 10 (Over 171 votes) - Vote Now!

Brian: Uh..Peter according to this you're not a genius. In fact you're mentally retarded.
Peter: Oh yeah? Well would a mentally retarded guy have hired a bulldozer with a drunk driver to level half of his house in celebration of his fantastic test results?
Brian: Uhh maybe.
Peter: Oh.
Quote Rating: 8.7 outta 10 (Over 235 votes) - Vote Now!

Lois: I'm upset because you never listen to me. This is Atlantic City all over again.
[Lois and Peter at Blackjack table]
Dealer: You've got 20!
Peter: Hit me.
Lois: Peter, don't.
Peter: Hit me.
Dealer: 21!
Peter: Hit me.
Lois: Peter.
Peter: Hit me.
Dealer: That's 30
Peter: Hit me.
Quote Rating: 8.7 outta 10 (Over 537 votes) - Vote Now!

Peter: Pictures are better than words because some words are big and hard to understand.
Quote Rating: 8.7 outta 10 (Over 142 votes) - Vote Now!

Doctor: Wait a minute, Brian, you have a pre-existing relationship with this degenerate?
Peter: A degenerate, am I? Well you are a festizio! See, I can make up words too, sister.
Quote Rating: 8.7 outta 10 (Over 141 votes) - Vote Now!

Kidnapper: You know I've got some candy in my van if your kid wants some.
Lady: Oh great! (She's about to hand kid to kidnapper...) Huh! Wait a second!
Kidnapper: Aww, you got me! You got me! Oh...
I'll get him though, I'll get him.
Lady: I bet you will! I bet you will...
Quote Rating: 8.7 outta 10 (Over 127 votes) - Vote Now!