Stupidity Quotes (57 - 64 out of 127)

Sometimes, when things make the least sense, when characters make absurd statements, when nothing is logical, the highest levels of humor ensue!

Peter (runs to picketers bearing signs that say "Free Tibet"): Free Tibet! I'll take it! (Runs to phone booth.) Hello, China? I think I have something you may want, but it's gonna cost you....that's right--all the tea.
Quote Rating: 8.7 outta 10 (Over 196 votes) - Vote Now!

Lois: It's geat they picked your theme, but isn't it a little esoteric?
Peter: Esoteric?
(Zoom in to the guys in Peter's brain)
Guy1: Could it mean sexy?
Guy2: I think it's a science term.
Guy3: Fellas, fellas! Esoteric means delicious!
(back to the real world)
Peter: Lois, "Who's the Boss" is not a food.
Brian: Swing and a miss.
Quote Rating: 8.7 outta 10 (Over 108 votes) - Vote Now!

Lois: Peter, wake up! Our son is covered in fleas!
Peter: That's nothing! When I was a kid, I was covered in ticks!
Lois: This isn't a competition!
Peter: It was back then. (Glances over at trophy, "Most Ticks 1965.")
Quote Rating: 8.7 outta 10 (Over 191 votes) - Vote Now!

Peter: Come on you guys. I gonna buy us the most expensive meal we've ever had.
Peter (to drive-through speaker): Yeah, I'd like 6,000 chicken fahJItas please.
Drive-through Speaker: I beg your pardon.
Peter: 6,000 chicken fahJItas.
Brian: And a so-sahge McBiskit please.
Quote Rating: 8.7 outta 10 (Over 153 votes) - Vote Now!

Peter: That was then and this is now. And this is a chair. And that's a lamp. And you have boobies. And I'm gonna find that trophy.
Quote Rating: 8.6 outta 10 (Over 291 votes) - Vote Now!

Chris: Yea, we can live with you again even though you are a dangerous retard!
Peter: Chris, don't say retard. we preffer to be called 'little people' because there is nothing wrong with being mentally challenged. In fact, i've learned we are superior, above all you dumb brainy smarties , and one day you will beg us for mercy...and we will consider it.
Quote Rating: 8.6 outta 10 (Over 173 votes) - Vote Now!

Peter: Well, we promised Lois we'd use our powers responsibly, but I suppose doing the exact opposite couldn't hurt.
Quote Rating: 8.6 outta 10 (Over 465 votes) - Vote Now!

(Lois and Peter come out wearing the same dress.)
Peter: Well one of us is gonna have to change.
(Lois gives him a look.)
Peter: Oh crap. Unzip me.
Quote Rating: 8.6 outta 10 (Over 122 votes) - Vote Now!