Stupidity Quotes (65 - 72 out of 127)
Sometimes, when things make the least sense, when characters make absurd statements, when nothing is logical, the highest levels of humor ensue!
Mayor West: MY GOD! Someone's stealing my water!
Meg: But it just went down the drain.
Mayor West: They hit when you least expect it.
(Waters plant.)
Mayor West: SHOW YOURSELVES, COWARDS! I've spent $1,000 dollars of the tax payers money trying to find these thieves and I'll spend $1,000,000 if that's what it takes!
Meg: You know, I think I have my story.
Mayor West: NO! WAIT! You can't print that! Thank God she's just a figment of my imagination.
Quote Rating:
8.6 outta 10 (Over 606 votes)
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Peter: Have they ever shown him doing somebody in and then feeding on him?
Brian: You're asking me if they've ever done an episode where the Count kills someone, and then drinks their blood for sustinance?
Peter: Yeah.
Brian: No, I don't think they've done that one yet.
Quote Rating:
8.6 outta 10 (Over 144 votes)
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Peter: Look at this, Lois, see right here [points in book], I was voted most likely to succeed!
Lois: Peter, that's not you. That's not even a yearbook, it's a People magazine.
Peter: Oh, I wondered why they had the wrong picture and name.
Quote Rating:
8.5 outta 10 (Over 984 votes)
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(Peter walks out from the basement wearing a sterilization suit)
Chris: Oh my God! The government is here! Run E.T. run! (E.T. runs across the screen screaming.)
Quote Rating:
8.5 outta 10 (Over 145 votes)
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Brian: Peter, this is the final plague.
Peter: Good cause this is starting to get boring.
Brian: Peter, the final plague is the death of the first born son.
Peter: Oh no Stewie!
Brian: First born...
Peter: Meg!
Brian: Your daughter...
Peter: Chris!
Quote Rating:
8.5 outta 10 (Over 163 votes)
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Peter: Lois, I'm gonna grow a beard.
Lois: Peter, you know I hate beards ...
Peter: No no Lois, it's time I joined the ranks of great men with beards. Why do you think Jesus Christ was so popular? Cause ... cause of all the magic tricks?
Quote Rating:
8.5 outta 10 (Over 875 votes)
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Chris (when Peter goes to attack Hugh Grant on the movie screen): Don't do it dad! He's bigger than you!
Quote Rating:
8.4 outta 10 (Over 145 votes)
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Eliza: Ew, your breath smells like kitty litter.
Stewie: I was curious!
Quote Rating:
8.4 outta 10 (Over 444 votes)
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