Stupidity Quotes (1 - 8 out of 127)

Sometimes, when things make the least sense, when characters make absurd statements, when nothing is logical, the highest levels of humor ensue!

Bonnie: Somebody save him, he can't swim!
Peter: Oh, he's not even kicking. Kick Joe, kick.
Lois: Peter, he's a paraplegic!
Peter: That doesn't mean he can't hear. Kick Joe, kick!
Quote Rating: 9.5 outta 10 (Over 699 votes) - Vote Now!

Peter: Don't worry Chris. Sometimes it's good not to fit in. (Flashback to Veitnam)
Peter (dressed in a clown suit): You guys are stupid. Their gonna be looking for army people.
Quote Rating: 9.4 outta 10 (Over 504 votes) - Vote Now!

Peter: Oh my god, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.'
Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios.
Quote Rating: 9.4 outta 10 (Over 4042 votes) - Vote Now!

(Peter has to come up with a fake name on the spot, so he looks around the room to get inspiration)
Peter Griffin: Uh... my name is...(he sees a pea)
Peter Griffin: Pea...
(he sees a woman crying)
Peter Griffin: ... tear...
(he sees a Griffin fly by)
Peter Griffin: ... Griffin. Peter Griffin
Quote Rating: 9.4 outta 10 (Over 509 votes) - Vote Now!

Peter: I'll handle it, Lois. I read a book about this sort of thing once.
Brian: Are you sure it was a book? Are you sure it wasn't nothing?
Peter: Oh yeah.
Quote Rating: 9.4 outta 10 (Over 2113 votes) - Vote Now!

Peter: (Grabs the microphone at a fast food restaurant) Attention restaurant customers: Testicles. That is all.
Quote Rating: 9.4 outta 10 (Over 750 votes) - Vote Now!

Peter: I hope this isn't a ripoff like that breakfast machine I bought.
(Cut to peter in his kitchen activating his breakfast machine. A ball rolls activating a series of devices soon reaching a balloon attatched to a string attached to a gun. This pulls the trigger and shoots Peter right in the arm.)
Peter: AAAAHH!! WHAT WAS THE POINT OF ALL THAT?! THIS JUST SHOOTS YOU IN THE ARM! IT DOESN'T MAKE BREAKFAST AT ALL! AAAHHH!
Quote Rating: 9.4 outta 10 (Over 329 votes) - Vote Now!

Peter: Well, I'm gettin' something really special too. And by special I don't mean special like that Kleinaman boy down the street. More special like... like Special K, the cereal. Hey, what do they do with the regular K? And for that matter, what ever happend to K. Ballard? You know, if you said mallard and you had a cold, it would sound like ballard.
Brian: Do you listen to yourself when you talk?
Peter: I drift in and out.
Quote Rating: 9.4 outta 10 (Over 1161 votes) - Vote Now!