Top Rated Quotes (105 - 112 out of 749)
(Stewie covering up the dead body of Mr. Lockhart by hiding in his blood-covered suit as a police officer drives up.)
Officer: Everything alright here?
Stewie: Oh fine officer, just enjoying the sunset. No law against that, is there?
Officer: What happened to your shirt?
Stewie: Oh you know, just a pizza party at the office.
Officer: Oh yeah, where do you work?
Stewie: First Fidelity Insurance over on Weybossett Street.
Officer: Oh my cousin Arnie works over there.
Stewie: Oh Arnie's your cousin is he?
Officer: You know him?
Stewie: Oh somewhat, good middle management type. Just sort of blends in with the furniture, though, never really wowed anyone at the office.
Officer: Yeah, that's always been Arnie's problem. Well, take it easy.
Stewie: Yes yes, you too. Oh and if you see Arnie, tell him 'boogity boogity boo.' He'll know what it means.
Quote Rating:
9.2 outta 10 (Over 303 votes)
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Peter: Lois, um, go get the medical dictionary and look up "fork" and "lung."
Lois: Why?
Peter: Time is a factor, Lois.
Quote Rating:
9.2 outta 10 (Over 508 votes)
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Peter: I've got an idea--an idea so smart that my head would explode if I even began to know what I'm talking about.
Quote Rating:
9.2 outta 10 (Over 225 votes)
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Stewie: You know what else is disgusting? (He farts and his right eye turns red.) Oh damn, I broke a blood vessel.
Quote Rating:
9.2 outta 10 (Over 487 votes)
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Butler (cuts eggs): Your eggs are cut sir.
Stewie: Cut my milk!
Butler: I can't sir, it's liquid.
Stewie: Imbecile! Freeze it, then cut it, and if you question me again I'll put you on diaper detail and I promise I won't make it easy for you.
Quote Rating:
9.2 outta 10 (Over 275 votes)
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Stewie: I want pancakes!! You people understand every language except English! Yo quiero pancakes! Donnez-moi pancakes! Click-click-bloody-click pancakes!!!
Quote Rating:
9.2 outta 10 (Over 188 votes)
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Gym Teacher: Most of the time, the kids play out in the field, but if its raining or I'm hungover, they stay inside and play dodgeball.
Peter: Aw I love dodgeball, Heads up! (Throws ball at man)
Home Ec Teacher: This week in home ec, we're teaching your kids how to make bundt cakes.
Peter: Aw I love bundt cakes, Heads up! (Throws a bundt cake at man)
Band Teacher: The school band offers a variety of instruments from the kettle drum to the trombone.
Peter: Aw I love the trombone! (Man is bracing himself)
(Peter does a trombone solo)
(Applause)
Peter: Heads up! (Throws trombone at man)
Quote Rating:
9.2 outta 10 (Over 265 votes)
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Lois: Peter tell Chris that women are not objects!
Peter: Your mother's right Chris, listen to what it says.
Quote Rating:
9.2 outta 10 (Over 165 votes)
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