Top Rated Quotes (113 - 120 out of 749)

Meg: Finally, look Mom I've had it. I'm not babysitting anymore. It's Saturday night I could be out having a life.
Lois: Meg, if you don't wanna babysit anymore that's fine, but don't you stand there and lie to me.
Peter: OH-HO Meg, she torched your ass man! She torched your ass.
Quote Rating: 9.2 outta 10 (Over 311 votes) - Vote Now!

Meg (to boy): Please go out with me. I'm just trying to make Neil jealous. I promise I'll pay and everything.
Boy: Yeah...uhh...that sounds cool but I'm gonna be in the hospital that night.
(shoots himself in the stomach with a nail gun)
Quote Rating: 9.2 outta 10 (Over 227 votes) - Vote Now!

Lois: What's going on down here?
Stewie: Oh, we're playing house.
Lois: That boy's all tied up.
Stewie: Roman Polanski's house
Quote Rating: 9.2 outta 10 (Over 636 votes) - Vote Now!

Police Officer: Hey. That's Against the law. You're coming with me.
Peter: (singing to the tune of U Can't Touch this) Ah ah ah ah. Can't Touch Me/ Can't Touch me/ Ja ja ja ja just like the bad guy/ from Lethal Weapon 2/ I've got diplomatic Immunity/ so Hammer, you can't sue/ I can write graffiti even jay-walk in the streets/ I can Riot, loot, not give a hoot, and touch your sister's teat/ Can't touch me/ Can't touch me/
Adam West: What in God's name is he doing?
Peter: Can't touch me.
Cleveland: I believe that's the worm.
Peter: (still singing) Can't touch me/ STOP, Peter time/ I'm a big shot, there's no doubt/ light a fire then pee it out/ Don't like it, kiss my rump/ Just for a minute, let's all do the bump/ Can't touch me/ Yeah, do the Peter Griffin Bump/ Can't touch me/ I'm Presidential Peter/ Interns think I'm hot/ Don't care if you're handicapped, I'll still park in your spot/ I've been around the world/ from Hartford to Back Bay/ It's Peter, Go Peter, I'm so Peter, Yo Peter, Let's see Regis rap this way/ Can't touch me.
Quote Rating: 9.2 outta 10 (Over 529 votes) - Vote Now!

Peter (drunk and naked at a wine tasting): Hey hey, where the hell is that Peter Griffin? He told me he'd give me a hundred dollars if I took off all my clothes off.
Quote Rating: 9.2 outta 10 (Over 218 votes) - Vote Now!

Mayor Adam West: I just bought a Rottweiler, and I need a sign to warn people how dangerous it is.
Home Supply clerk (pointing to "BEWARE OF DOG" sign): Well, we have exactly what you--
Mayor Adam West: Ah, yes, here it is: "ONE WAY." So people will know if they step into my yard, there's only one way out--in a body bag from dog injuries.
Quote Rating: 9.2 outta 10 (Over 168 votes) - Vote Now!

Brian: Peter, did you read the fine print on this loan contract?
Peter: Um, if by "read" you mean imagined a naked lady, then, yes.
Quote Rating: 9.2 outta 10 (Over 534 votes) - Vote Now!

Lois: So how was your day?
Brian: My day? Un-freakin' believable. First we nailed this bastard who had the gall to hide his stuff in his daughter's doll--HER DOLL for God's sake! Where's the line anymore? Well, I got news for ya, it's not even on the radar screen! The days of decency and virtue are gone, honey, BAM, freakin' evaporated like a dingy stinkin' mudpuddle. One day you see your reflection in it and the next day it's a, it's a damn oil spot on your cracked driveway, staring back at you, mocking you, knowing the perverted truths that rot in the pit of your soul. That's how my freakin' day was!
[pause]
Peter Griffin: You know what I haven't had in a while? Big League Chew.
Quote Rating: 9.2 outta 10 (Over 190 votes) - Vote Now!