Top Rated Quotes (9 - 16 out of 749)
Peter (after Lois tells him he's childish): "If I'm a child that means you're a pedophile, and I'll be damned if i'm going stand here and take this from a pervert."
Quote Rating:
9.4 outta 10 (Over 1247 votes)
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Auctioner: Our first item is a pair of panties confiscated from a prostitute.
Quagmire: Fifty bucks.
Auctioner: She had nine STDs.
Quagmire: Forty-five bucks.
Auctioner: And when we caught her she wet herself.
Quagmire: Fifty bucks.
Quote Rating:
9.4 outta 10 (Over 2035 votes)
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Meg (about Peter being retarded): I can never go to school again!
Stewie: Oh, yes, Meg, yes-yes yes, everything was going swimmingly for you until this. Yes, yes, THIS is the thing that will ruin your reputation, not your years of grotesque appearance, or your awkward social graces, or that Felix Ungerish way you clear your sinuses, no no no, it's THIS. Do you hear yourself talk? I might kill you tonight.
Quote Rating:
9.4 outta 10 (Over 1347 votes)
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Guy on Airplane: Oh great, I always end up sitting next to a damn baby.
Stewie: What did you just say?
Lois: Stewie, stop fussing.
Stewie: Pipe down Lois. (Slaps guy on head.) Hey big man, turn around. Oh you can't hear me now. I was going to watch the movie, but forget it. For the next 5 hours, you're my bitch.
Quote Rating:
9.4 outta 10 (Over 1805 votes)
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Lois: Peter,why are we stopped?
Peter: Yeah, I'll have three cheeseburgers...
Lois: Peter for God's sakes she's havin' a baby!
Peter: Oh that's right...and a kid's meal... and uh,I, I guess I'll have fries...if I have fries is anyone else gonna have any? Cuz,uh I don't wanna be the only one eatin' them... I'll feel like a fatty.
Quote Rating:
9.4 outta 10 (Over 562 votes)
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Stewie (to Jeremy, the babysitter's boyfriend):
Ha! I got your hat! Take that, hatless! Now go back to the quad and resume your hackey sac tourney! I'm not gonna lay down for some frat boy bastard with his damn Teva sandals and his Skoal Bandits and his Abercrombie and Fitch long sleeved, open stitched, crew neck Henley smoking his sticky buds out of a soda can while watching his favorite downloaded Simpsons episodes every night! Yes, we all love "Mr. Plow"! Oh, you've got the song memorized, do you? SO DOES EVERYONE ELSE! That is exactly the kind of idiot you see at Taco Bell at 1 in the morning! The guy who just whiffed his way down the bar skank ladder!
Quote Rating:
9.4 outta 10 (Over 1276 votes)
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(Lois finds a note in Chris's pocket)
Lois: Huh, what's this? You know Stewie, Mommy doesn't usually read things out of Chris's pocket. She's more respectful than that.
Stewie: Whatever helps you sleep at night, bitch.
Quote Rating:
9.4 outta 10 (Over 788 votes)
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Peter: Don't worry Chris. Sometimes it's good not to fit in. (Flashback to Veitnam)
Peter (dressed in a clown suit): You guys are stupid. Their gonna be looking for army people.
Quote Rating:
9.4 outta 10 (Over 504 votes)
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