Top Rated Quotes (177 - 184 out of 749)
Peter: I'll give you $40 for that coffin.
Store Owner: Sir, this casket is $1,000.
Peter: I'll give you $2,000.
Store Owner: Sir, that's double what it costs.
Peter: $60.
Brian (to the store owner): He doesn't know how to haggle.
Quote Rating:
9.0 outta 10 (Over 453 votes)
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Stewie: You know, I rather like this God fellow. Very theatrical, you know. Pestilence here, a plague there. Omnipotence ... gotta get me some of that.
Quote Rating:
9.0 outta 10 (Over 602 votes)
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Peter (to New Yorker): Excuse me sir, I believe you're in my seat and I had sex with your mother.
Man: What'd you say?!
Peter: What--about the seat or me plowin' your father's wife?
Quote Rating:
9.0 outta 10 (Over 165 votes)
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Peter (after coming home drunk): Oh, Lois thank God it's you! The last few houses I went to were very rude.
Quote Rating:
9.0 outta 10 (Over 196 votes)
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Tricia Takanawa: Thank you, Diane. Sex. Some people have it anonymously. What kind of person would do that you might ask? Well, I'm about to find out. I've just picked up a complete stranger in a hotel bar and he's in the bathroom right now,
possibly doing drugs. Watch as I have sex with this potentially dangerous man, as we take you in-depth and undercover.
(Quagmire walks into the room in his boxers and lays down on the bed.)
Quagmire: I've never had a Spanish chick before! O-LE!!!
Quote Rating:
9.0 outta 10 (Over 249 votes)
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Lois: Where would he go?
Peter: I don't know. I just asked him to buy me some peanuts and Crackerjacks.
Brian: I don't care if he ever gets back. I wasn't being cute, I really hope he's dead.
Quote Rating:
9.0 outta 10 (Over 423 votes)
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Stewie: What the hell is this?
Lois: Sweetie, that's tuna salad.
Stewie: Oh, is that what it is? Really? Because I could have sworn it was mayonnaise and cat food.
Quote Rating:
9.0 outta 10 (Over 392 votes)
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Peter-YO LOIS!
Lois-WHAT?
Peter- I'm packing for Kiss-stock and I can't find my favorite underwear.
Lois-You mean the pair with the rip in the right butt check from when you stepped on them pulling them up in that airplane bathroom from when you had the trotts?
Peter-No, no the pair with the whole in the left butt check from when I held it in for two hours cuz it was an extra long Palm Sunday church sermon and I thought that blowing gas would offend jesus so I let it go in the vestabule after mass and it sounded like Louie Armstrong.
Lois-Oh! Bottom drawer.
Quote Rating:
9.0 outta 10 (Over 215 votes)
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