Top Rated Quotes (17 - 24 out of 749)
Peter: Oh my god, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.'
Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios.
Quote Rating:
9.4 outta 10 (Over 4042 votes)
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Lois: Oh, I haven't been on a college campus in years. Everything seems so different.
Stewie: Really? Perhaps if you laid on your back with your ankles behind your ears that would ring a few bells.
Quote Rating:
9.4 outta 10 (Over 1840 votes)
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Stewie: It wasn't even about the eggs, really. Frankly, I like the yolks. I have no problem. There's always been a lot of tension between Lois and me. And it's not so much that I want to kill her, it's just, I want her not to be alive anymore. I sometimes wonder if all women are this difficult. And then I think to myself, 'My God wouldn't it be marvelous if i turned out to be a homosexual?'
Quote Rating:
9.4 outta 10 (Over 473 votes)
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Peter - I'm afraid I have some very bad news, your wife's gonna be a vegetable. You're gonna have to bathe her, feed her, and care for her for the rest of your life.
Guy - OH MY GOD!
Peter - No no no, I'm just kiddin. She's dead.
Quote Rating:
9.4 outta 10 (Over 474 votes)
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(Peter has to come up with a fake name on the spot, so he looks around the room to get inspiration)
Peter Griffin: Uh... my name is...(he sees a pea)
Peter Griffin: Pea...
(he sees a woman crying)
Peter Griffin: ... tear...
(he sees a Griffin fly by)
Peter Griffin: ... Griffin. Peter Griffin
Quote Rating:
9.4 outta 10 (Over 509 votes)
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Peter: I'll handle it, Lois. I read a book about this sort of thing once.
Brian: Are you sure it was a book? Are you sure it wasn't nothing?
Peter: Oh yeah.
Quote Rating:
9.4 outta 10 (Over 2113 votes)
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Peter: (Grabs the microphone at a fast food restaurant) Attention restaurant customers: Testicles. That is all.
Quote Rating:
9.4 outta 10 (Over 750 votes)
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Wilford Brimley: Hi. I'm Wilford Brimley and I have Diabetes. It hurts me to pee and it causes me to be short with my family. I can't sleep at night. The other day I stubbed my toe and I took it out on the dog. And two weeks ago I ran out of vanilla ice cream and struck my wife. Then I find out my wife's been dead for six years. Who the hell did I hit?!
Quote Rating:
9.4 outta 10 (Over 450 votes)
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