Top Rated Quotes (233 - 240 out of 749)
Peter: Can't we tell them that your mother died?
Lois: Peter, I'm not gonna lie about something like that.
Peter: All right, all right, I'll kill your mother.
Quote Rating:
8.8 outta 10 (Over 307 votes)
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Stewie (To CPR baby): Well, I can't believe we just did that. Hmm, umm...but you know that stuff about spending the day together tomorrow. Umm...I forgot actually I have a thing. But...uhh you know you have my email address so drop me a line and I'll have yours. And uhh...we'll take it from there.
Quote Rating:
8.8 outta 10 (Over 145 votes)
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Brian: Hey, barkeep, whose leg do you have to hump to get a dry martini around here?
Quote Rating:
8.8 outta 10 (Over 271 votes)
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Peter: Cleveland, sit down. I wanna sing a little song that, uh kept me goin' when I had troubles.
(Peter starts playing The B-52s- "Rock Lobster" on an acoustic guitar.)
Peter: We were at the beach.
Everyone had, matching towels!
Somebody went under a dock, and there they saw, a rock!
But it wasn't a rock, it was a Rock Lobster.
(bridge)
Rock Lobster
(in a falsetto)
ROCK LOBSTER!
Quote Rating:
8.8 outta 10 (Over 172 votes)
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Gepetto: Whoops, I dropped my glasses. (Bends down, butt facing Pinochio.) Oh, by the way Pinochio, there were some cookies missing from the jar. Uh, did you take them?
Pinochio: No, pa. I didn't.
Gepetto: Are you sure you didn't?
Pinochio: No, pa. I'd never lie to you.
Gepetto: Are you sure? I mean, you could lie to me. And who knows? You may even get away with it.
Quote Rating:
8.8 outta 10 (Over 308 votes)
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Lois: A flight attendant? Wow, that does sound exciting. What made you change your mind?
Peter: Just my desire to see you happy.
Lois: Aww .... (hugs peter)
Peter: And to exploit your hard labour for free travel and fun.
Lois: What?
Peter: Shhh ... I didn't say anything. Go to sleep crazy lady.
Quote Rating:
8.8 outta 10 (Over 383 votes)
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[Peter has bought a sexy version of a relationship tape]
Lois: $49.95? Are you sure we can afford this?
Peter: Lois, our relationship can not be measured in nipples and dimes ... nickels and boobs ... money.
[runs off]
Quote Rating:
8.8 outta 10 (Over 487 votes)
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Quagmire: I felt guilty once, but she woke up halfway through.
Quote Rating:
8.8 outta 10 (Over 518 votes)
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