Top Rated Quotes (241 - 248 out of 749)
Congressman: Cigarettes killed my father, and raped my mother.
Quote Rating:
8.8 outta 10 (Over 415 votes)
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(Peter slowly raises up a comic book into his line of sight while he is driving.)
Peter (to himself): Hehehehehe.....Look at all those hamburgers. You can't eat all those hamburgers, you stupid fella (car veers off the road). Oh geeze! (Peter swerves the car back on the road and then slowly raises up the comic book again). Uh! He's gonna do it! Oh he is SO ridiculous--you hear me, you ridiculous man? (Car crashes into tree.)
Quote Rating:
8.8 outta 10 (Over 187 votes)
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(Lois reading Meg's diary with the rest of the family gathered around)
Lois: Dear Diary, Kevin is so hot. Today he was raking the yard. God I wish he'd throw me into that pile of leaves. (Laughter)
Meg: (Walks into the room) Hey what's everyone... Oh my God! You're reading my diary! I HATE YOU ALL! WHAAAAAAA! (Runs away crying)
Peter: (Opens beer) Keep going!
Quote Rating:
8.8 outta 10 (Over 92 votes)
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(Lois and Peter watching a beer commercial containing two women rubbing tanning oil on each other.)
Lois: Typical male fantasy, women drinking beer. A man must have made that commercial.
Peter: Of course a man made it. It's a commercial, not a delicious Thanksgiving dinner.
Quote Rating:
8.8 outta 10 (Over 77 votes)
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(In the middle of the night, Peter wakes the whole neighborhood by yelling.)
Peter: Hey everybody! Meg just had her first period!
Joe: PETER! Shut up its three in the morning!
Cleveland: What the hell is going on out there?!
Quagmire: Damn it! People are trying to sleep!
Peter: I'm just saying! I'm proud of her. She's a woman! Yea!
Quagmire: Yes, Peter, that's very hot, and I'll deal with it in the morning, but right now, I am exhausted!
Quote Rating:
8.8 outta 10 (Over 213 votes)
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Peter: Oh this is almost as intense as that time I forgot how to sit down!
Quote Rating:
8.8 outta 10 (Over 255 votes)
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Tom Tucker: Now let's go to Greg The Weather Mime. OK... it's going to be cold... lots of wind... and it looks like parents are going to throw human fecal matter from the rooftops onto their children ... oh, GOD. That's awful. No wait, it looks like rain. Yes, rain.
Quote Rating:
8.8 outta 10 (Over 488 votes)
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Peter: What are you gonna make me do? Whack a guy? Off a guy? Whack off a guy? 'Cause I'm married.
Quote Rating:
8.8 outta 10 (Over 315 votes)
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