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Top Rated Quotes (265 - 272 out of 749)


Lois (to counselor): This is the first act of violence Stewie has ever done.
Stewie: Well actually, the first act of violence was the time bomb I left ticking in your uterus before I came out. Happy 50th birthday Lois!
Quote Rating: 8.7 outta 10 (Over 288 votes) - Vote Now!

Peter: First of all Bonnie, you've been pregnant for like 6 years! Are you gonna have the baby or not?
Quote Rating: 8.7 outta 10 (Over 251 votes) - Vote Now!

Quagmire (runs outside in a robe): Hey guys, what's going on? I was just jerki ... ed out of a deep sleep.
Quote Rating: 8.7 outta 10 (Over 789 votes) - Vote Now!

Doctor: Wait a minute, Brian, you have a pre-existing relationship with this degenerate?
Peter: A degenerate, am I? Well you are a festizio! See, I can make up words too, sister.
Quote Rating: 8.7 outta 10 (Over 141 votes) - Vote Now!

Kidnapper: You know I've got some candy in my van if your kid wants some.
Lady: Oh great! (She's about to hand kid to kidnapper...) Huh! Wait a second!
Kidnapper: Aww, you got me! You got me! Oh...
I'll get him though, I'll get him.
Lady: I bet you will! I bet you will...
Quote Rating: 8.7 outta 10 (Over 127 votes) - Vote Now!

Stewie: What's this? Blueberries! Oh, oh my G ... oh, that's better than sex!
Quote Rating: 8.7 outta 10 (Over 445 votes) - Vote Now!

Peter (runs to picketers bearing signs that say "Free Tibet"): Free Tibet! I'll take it! (Runs to phone booth.) Hello, China? I think I have something you may want, but it's gonna cost you....that's right--all the tea.
Quote Rating: 8.7 outta 10 (Over 196 votes) - Vote Now!

Lois: It's geat they picked your theme, but isn't it a little esoteric?
Peter: Esoteric?
(Zoom in to the guys in Peter's brain)
Guy1: Could it mean sexy?
Guy2: I think it's a science term.
Guy3: Fellas, fellas! Esoteric means delicious!
(back to the real world)
Peter: Lois, "Who's the Boss" is not a food.
Brian: Swing and a miss.
Quote Rating: 8.7 outta 10 (Over 108 votes) - Vote Now!

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