Top Rated Quotes (25 - 32 out of 749)
Peter: I hope this isn't a ripoff like that breakfast machine I bought.
(Cut to peter in his kitchen activating his breakfast machine. A ball rolls activating a series of devices soon reaching a balloon attatched to a string attached to a gun. This pulls the trigger and shoots Peter right in the arm.)
Peter: AAAAHH!! WHAT WAS THE POINT OF ALL THAT?! THIS JUST SHOOTS YOU IN THE ARM! IT DOESN'T MAKE BREAKFAST AT ALL! AAAHHH!
Quote Rating:
9.4 outta 10 (Over 329 votes)
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Lois: Honey, what do you say we uh...christen these new sheets, huh?
Peter: Why Lois Griffin, you naughty girl.
Lois: Hehehe...that's me.
Peter: You dirty hustler.
Lois: Hehehehe...
Peter: You filthy, stinky prostitute.
Lois: Aha, ok I get it...
Peter: You foul, venereal disease carrying, street walking whore.
Lois: Alright, that's enough!
Quote Rating:
9.4 outta 10 (Over 515 votes)
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Quagmire: Hey there sweetie, how old are you?
Connie: 16.
Quagmire: 18? You're first.
Connie: Mom!
Quagmire: I like where this is goin'! Giggidy, giggidy, gig-gi-dy!
Quote Rating:
9.4 outta 10 (Over 1453 votes)
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Stewie (his voice getting progressively higher): Oh I know it hurts now Brian, but look at the bright side: you have some new material for that novel you've been writing. You know...the novel you've been workin' on? You know the the one, uh, you've been workin on for three years? You know the novel. Got somethin' new to write about now. You know? Maybe a, maybe a main character gets into a relationship and suffers a little heartbreak? Somethin' like what... what you've just been through? Draw from real life experience? Little, little heartbreak? You know? Work it into the story? Make the characters a little more three dimensional? Little, uh, richer experience for the reader? Make those second hundred pages really keep the reader guessing what's going to happen? Some twists and turns? A little epilogue? Everybody learns that the hero's journey isn't always a happy one? (Voice returns to normal.) Oh, I look forward to reading it.
Quote Rating:
9.4 outta 10 (Over 800 votes)
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[Quagmire sees a cheerleader tied up in a bathroom stall]
Quagmire: Dear diary: Jackpot.
Quote Rating:
9.4 outta 10 (Over 1877 votes)
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Peter: Well, I'm gettin' something really special too. And by special I don't mean special like that Kleinaman boy down the street. More special like... like Special K, the cereal. Hey, what do they do with the regular K? And for that matter, what ever happend to K. Ballard? You know, if you said mallard and you had a cold, it would sound like ballard.
Brian: Do you listen to yourself when you talk?
Peter: I drift in and out.
Quote Rating:
9.4 outta 10 (Over 1161 votes)
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Chris: Dad, what's the blow-hole for?
Peter: I'll tell you what it's not for, son. And when I do, you'll understand why I can never go back to Sea World.
Quote Rating:
9.4 outta 10 (Over 502 votes)
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Peter: Excuse me, is your refrigerator running?
Because if it is, it probably runs like you - very homosexually.
Quote Rating:
9.4 outta 10 (Over 2433 votes)
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