Top Rated Quotes (385 - 392 out of 749)
Quagmire: You must be this beautiful to ride the Quagmire.
Quote Rating:
8.4 outta 10 (Over 195 votes)
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Meg: I miss Uncle Patrick.
Lois: Don’t worry kids I promise we can visit him once a month
Chris: We’ll be his period.
Quote Rating:
8.4 outta 10 (Over 353 votes)
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Peter: Hey how did you get that?
Death: It was mailed to me by your HMO.
Peter: Woah, just because my doctor was hitting on me doesn't mean you have to call him names.
Quote Rating:
8.4 outta 10 (Over 156 votes)
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Peter: Lois, I cant find my favorite pair of underwear.
Lois: Which one? The one where you ripped hole in it from when you got stuck in that airplane bathroom from when you got the trots?
Peter: No, I'm looking for the pair from when I had to hold it in because it was that extra long Palm Sunday service and I thought blowing gas would offend God so I let it rip in the vestibule after service.
Lois: Top drawer.
Quote Rating:
8.4 outta 10 (Over 407 votes)
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Stewie: Can I count to three? For God's sake, I'm already shooting at a fifth grade level.
Quote Rating:
8.4 outta 10 (Over 146 votes)
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Stewie: What the hell do you think you're doing!?
Lois: Strapping you in, honey, so you don't get hurt.
Stewie: "So I don't get hurt;" that's the best you can come up with, you dull-witted termagant?
Lois: I brought your Raffi tape!
Stewie: Play "Wheels on the Bus" and get the hell out of my sight.
Quote Rating:
8.4 outta 10 (Over 69 votes)
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Lawyer: Peter, Sarah has decided to press sexual harrasssment charges against you.
Peter: Sarah...Is that the one we video taped taking a dump?
Quote Rating:
8.4 outta 10 (Over 221 votes)
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Peter: You know that whole Vietnam thing? Never happened.
Brian: Oh yeah, but don't mention it around the Veterans Hospital. Those guys are really committed to the lie.
Quote Rating:
8.4 outta 10 (Over 345 votes)
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